I’ll give you an example, loving the sound of my kids laughing and giggling, but being annoyed by them making too much noise as those same laughs move into the cackle/shriek territory. Enjoying a quiet afternoon, and then finding out your kids were quiet because they were destroying a windowsill with inkless pens and drawing straight into the wood itself. Wanting to be alone and then feeling isolated and lonely. We are strange creatures us humans. Walking, talking contradictions. Wishing you all a happy, healthy 2022.
Month: December 2021
Those dark shadows in between.
Could be the lack of brilliant sun shine, it could very well be the onset of the winter cold. The feeling of being adrift and starting to float reminds me of being depressed in my teens due to medications, & fatigue from Crohn’s Disease. I find myself wanting to sleep more and more, losing interest in hobbies, and also having angry or violent dreams at night. My sleep is restless and every day feels the same regardless of holiday, weekday or weekend. I realize the pandemic has us all on edge and have recently discovered what a low level panic attack feels like, and bud, I feel for all of you whom have had to deal with a full fledged version, because, WOW!, unpleasant. I also know that I’m really getting inside my own head of late, and that’s not a good place to spend too much time. I due have introverted tendencies, so I love alone time and being quiet, but that’s when it is by choice and not foisted upon me by external forces I have zero control over. It can sometimes feel like a weight pressing down on my shoulders while the tide is trying to kick my feet out from under me. However, soon enough there will be sunshine, warm, grass and flowers and the ability to get outdoors more comfortably. It’s not all bleak and gloomy though. I did get the last book in a great series to read for Christmas, so I do intend to enjoy that as much as possible. And, reading about the exploits of the James Webb Space Telescope has been rather exciting! (JWST) For the potential science win. Woot woot!
One of life’s simple pleasures…
In a time of chaos and panic, or when you are just starting to find yourself feeling a little off, is taking a quiet moment to close your eyes and lean your heated forehead against a cold pane of glass and shut your eyes for a second or two. It’s brief, but aren’t most of our adult moments of splendor brief and fleeting. That momentary flash of cool across your brow, and perhaps also your cheeks and nose. The calming blackness from your closed eyes, the fading out of the background noise from your life. Taking in one, or two rich, full breaths. Then leaning back and carrying on with your day, evening, nights activities. Stay sane out there. Try to stay healthy if you can.
‘Don’t look up’ a Netflix Movie Review.
Can I start out by saying that I liked this film even though I hated how close to the bone it cuts? It was well done, but it stressed me the fuck out. It made me angry even when it made me laugh. I cringed an awful lot at the actions of Jonah Hill’s character, who was at once hilarious and horrific. A ‘himbo’ who placed his Ivy League uneducated devotion in the wrong people. Jennifer Lawrence goes full bore on her incredulous millennial schtick and sticks the landing, hair cut and all, well done. I love that Leo goes full nerd but still gets to smash the blisteringly wealthy talk show host with too white teeth (Cate Blanchett). Both sides of the ending are… something. A blood pressure raising, pulse increasing, rage inducing, funny, satirical send up of modern times that slices deeply along the vein.
Something unexpected that I was proud of in 2021.
Earlier this year I built a series of four terrain panels, each measuring two feet by two feet, and almost ten inches tall on the highest elevation. I was originally going to build just one, but I had such a good time making the first that I decided to go ahead and all three more to it to make a larger gaming table for D&D or war gaming. It’s not something I have done before, but it sure was a lot of fun. I can see why people get addicted to terrain building and 3d printing and such. It was a wonderful creative outlet, and I wish I had the room to use and store an eight foot gaming table with modular mix and match panels. I would love to build a proper wharf, a seaside fishing town, a mountain pass, ancient ruins, a meandering river bed, a proper cliff face and waterfall, try water effects, real rock moulds with plaster of paris etc… a hot wire cutter, a grass applicator and those uber swanky high class model train trees too. There are just so many things you could do with the time and resources to tackle them. My only hope is to help my kids build dioramas for elementary school projects! Or try to build a bunch of much smaller and more compact elements, like castle walls, or ruins or individual hovels & town houses. I’d love to see any of your work if you have images handy!.
The day after ‘The BIG Day’…
And I feel hung over without having had anything booze or beer related to drink. It was a long and somewhat unconventional Christmas day, you know, with the isolation and the quarantine and the pandemic still running amok in the general population. I know for a fact that at least a couple of the kids gifts were a slam dunk, home run, field goal, Uno! And a few were near misses due to the aforementioned grand slams. While none were entire failures, so I’m happy with that. It’s a long day, preceeded by a terrible nights sleep, ensconced in over stimulation, sweets and hyper activity so that there were a multitude of melt downs, hard feelings and squabbles among the children. Par for the course at this age bracket. Otherwise getting them back into bed by 8:00pm and then watching ‘Don’t look up’ until around 11:00pm in relative peace and quiet was a great cap to a long and challenging day. If the weather could either warm up or snow a bunch we could figure out how to entertain our isolated family over the rest of the school break and through the last five days of our isolation that would be greatly appreciated.
“Do you know what I’ll do?…”
He exclaimed rising from his overly soft sofa cushion, finger jabbing menacingly into the air. ” I know just what I’ll do!” He bellows into the chaotic room littered with wrapping paper and shards of open gift containers. “What’s that dad?” A tiny voice asks from the corner of the sectional. “I’ll steal their Christmas! Ha ha ha ha….” roars the plump middle aged man whom is likely to do no such thing. “But dad – it’s all ready Christmas!”. “Next year then!”. Fin.
Happy holidays, merry Christmas to all.
Aiming for those last few days of 2021 writing streak…
Which means pulling out all the stops to create something written every day until the new year begins in order to fulfill some weird kind of anxiety about not doing enough creative writing during the year. For all those days when I followed the white rabbit down the hole on YouTube regarding wood working or welding or sculpting or entertainment news about movie spoilers. For those lull days when I didn’t do jack shit. For those weeks in September and October where my singular focus was on home DIY projects and not being creative in any way, shape or form. For those days when I really wanted to watch a movie instead, or bury my face in a good book. Now it is a race against time to prepare some short, fun ‘content’ for my blog. On the plus side, by skipping writing in September I was also able to buy our Christmas presents and avoid busy stores, malls, parking lots and any possible supply issues. The big show starts tomorrow, with some champagne and orange juice at days first light. Stay sane, stay safe, and be merry (where possible).
I too am excited for Christmas…
Whether or not Covid looms over it like a bloody great black storm cloud threatening to drown us all at the slightest whim. Regardless of hand washing, masking, social distancing and drastically limited contacts to anyone beyond our immediate family. Even with that horrific tangible threat just looming on the horizon, my childrens bottomless zeal for Christmas, Santa, family fun and presents is keeping us on the cheerful side of what could potentially be a drab and dreary worry filled occasion. God bless the blissful ignorance of children and their singular fixation on Christmas time! While the inexhaustible energy levels can be bothersome, some might say, the optimism is hard to beat at a time like this.
How do my children have this inexhaustible…
Supply of energy, all day every day? I’ve gone so far as to supply them with multiple outdoor play dates this whole week and it makes nary a dent in the ear piercing shriek of delight levels of play that they engage in. Seems like wailing at the top of their lungs in our small cozy home is the order for the day, each and every time. It can be infuriating! Adorable at first and then grating on those self same nerves. The constant refrain of “bring it down a notch or two!”, or “Separate if you can’t handle sitting together”, are met with blank stares and renewed vigor on the auditory front. I swear their vocal cords should waiver and shred apart at these levels of noise, but they only get stronger, louder and more sustained. It’s a whole thing. Feel our pain, and know it isn’t just your house, or your kids that are driving you a little mad some days. If I thought strapping them into a treadmill for a few hours a day would drain some of the fight out of them, rest assured I’d have them harnessed in immediately. But I fear it would just help them to build their stamina so that they could be overly dramatic for much longer. Ah kids. The apple of my eye. I love my kids, I love my kids…
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