Day: January 11, 2022

“Yes, that’s true I worked at an aquatic zoo”.                                                                    “Is that like an aquarium?”                         “Oh, you know that term, I assumed that was just insider corporate jargon.”                              “No, no – that’s a fairly common term for water based fish conservation.”        “Hmmm. I respectfully disagree.”         “Well, can you tell me what lessons you learned working at the aquarium.”     “There you go, throwing that corporate jargon in my face. The fish zoo I worked at had several kinds of penguins and bottle nosed dolphins.”  “Ok,  do go on please.”  “Sure thing. Ah – the first piece of information is that penguins can be vicious. And dolphins like to engage in rape.”  “COUGH! – Goodness I wasn’t aware of that. How did you learn those things and what actions did you take because of it?”  “Yeah, ok, right. Well, what can I say – penguins can’t take a punch. And I don’t recommend retaliating against a dolphin by raping it with said stunned penguin. That’s for sure. No sir.”  “Wait – were, were you raped by a dolphin?” “To be fair… what do you know about lady dolphin vaginal secretions?” “Good lord , nothing. I don’t know anything about female dolphin vaginas.” “Count yourself lucky then doll. That shits like Valhalla. Only way there is to die in battle!” “What does dying have to do with dolphin vaginal secretions, vicious penguins and rape?” “Well skinny dipping in the tank and taking a dolphin dong in the bum will ruin your hole weak if you let it. Taking a short cut through the penguin exhibit nude is also not suggested.” “Jesus H Christ.” “Welp, the little bastards jumped up and bit me, so I punched it in the head. And even unconscious it was rigid which gim’me an idea, so I trekked back to the dolphin tank for a wrestle and to settle my score. You’d be amazed at how helpful an octopus can be when…” “Oh my, well I’m sorry to say that it has just come to my attention that the current supervisory position here at Little Tykes Nursery School has been filled. Good day to you sir.”