Generally speaking…

**WARNING: GRAPHIC INTESTINAL HEALTH DISCUSSION AHEAD**

I have a pretty decent sense of what will set my guts off, but with today’s bout of rotten guts, I’m stymied. I didn’t eat anything really out of the ordinary. I made an egg sandwich on an everything bagel for breakfast, sometime around 10:00am, which gave me no immediate signs of causing me problems. But woah buddy, something inside me wants to get out, and take everything else with it in a hurry, laws of physics & physiology be damned. Not going to lie. I do not miss this sensation at all. Twisting, crumpling, cramping, blood soaked visits to the rest room are not my favourite thing. The urge to push my cranium out through the soles of my feet is something I could go a hundred years or more without, and would never miss it. Whatever is in there currently feels like shards of glass scraping my guts with every millimeter it moves. That an a white hot, furious, semi liquid lava glorping, grumbling, and roiling about my innards as we speak. Fan-fucking-tastic. My own private Idaho. Or is this Californiacation? Either way, I ain’t leaving a dribble on the mesh of a screen door with this bout. Bet. Fr fr. Fam.