Day: May 21, 2023

I was just moments from falling asleep last night when I suddenly remembered the longest bike ride I’ve ever taken by myself, and with limited water on hand too. It was the day after a big break up and I took a bike 32.3Km one way from our home in Erin Ontario, out to Belwood lake. I was gone for the whole day. Caught the sun real bad. I just had to stay busy & tired in order to not get too wrapped up in my break up, at the time. Had one water bottle, and finished it once I reached the lake. Took off my shoes and socks and waded into the water. Sat there for about an hour. Then suited up to ride back home. I recall stopping off at a former work friends farm along Hwy 26 to have a rest & refill my water. I just wanted to die by that point. Still had like 2 hours left on my ride home too. We chatted for a bit, and I sat on a comfy chair to rest my groin from the rock hard seat old mountain bikes used to come with. Then rode on home, and showered and collapsed. 64 plus Km in a single day. I have never done anywhere near as much riding in a single day since. I was very dehydrated the next day or two, and had some horrendous leg cramps that night. I’m not sure why I thought of it. Why it came up. I do know I wore my hand me down red Sir Oliver Mowat gym t-shirt for the whole ride, and my yellow & black soccer shorts. A white & red cap on backwards under my helmet to try and stop my neck from burning (unsuccessfully I might add). It all came to me, and then I just couldn’t fall asleep for several hours after that. I hate taking those solo trips down memory lane. One thing cascades into another, and then lots of details come flooding in, and what? What am I to do with these details? Revelations, forgotten memories. Just sit with them, let them wash over me, and carry on. Not much else you can do when that stuff comes flooding in unbidden like that. Weird feeling that is. It’s like how I used to forget where my locker was, like every year there would be a stretch where I would be like, “where the fuck is this locker!?!”, and wander around until it would come to me weeks later. Like oh yeah. Here it is, exactly where it was. Same combo from year to year. You were just three down or three up the row. Idiot boy. I was distracted ok. I was sickly, depressed, tired, and an insomniac. Not surprised that stuff would vaporize out of my brain and then spontaneously reappear as though I hadn’t totally lost my mind for a few weeks about this one thing. Life is messy. Let me tell you. Or not. I’m not your guardian.