At no less than two funerals this weekend. I need to travel a fair bit this afternoon on top of it all too. But as ugly as it is, I will most likely fare better at my friend’s funeral, as she was 42, than say – her 5 year old daughters. I am not in the appropriate head space for either of these things just yet. I need to wrap my head around revisiting all the grief & pain. Not only of my own, but just how much of it I’ll be witness to from other people. I just know I’ll come away from two days of this with a sore lump of a throat. Although that usually stems from not crying, or trying not to cry which hurts my throat. So maybe I’ll let go and will walk away physical pain free.
Emotionally, yeah that will be a different story entirely. I do have the knowledge that I helped just a bit after the fact, so perhaps I will have the wherewithal to focus on that rather than the fact my friend is dead and gone. It’s a long shot, but I’ll give it a whirl.
So that is what is swirling around in my head right now. Trying to psyche myself up for an emotionally charged couple days. We are bringing the kids to their friend’s funeral. I understand they have an activity center, and there is to be no small coffin, nor open casket. Just an urn and photo collages, and flowers. As the wee one was cremated prior (or will have been so) prior to the event. I can not speak to my friend. I hope not. Open casket that is. I’d prefer to remember her as I knew her.
Happy Thursday to all whom celebrate.
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