Savouring the last hours of the warm colourful glow of my tree, tinsel, and various coloured lights in my living room. The four foot diameter, seven foot tall tree is going away later on today, and I’m going to miss it. Usually I would have it down and stored away by lunch on January first, but I feel a little sentimental about it this year for some reason. Could be the possibility of all out war coming to our southern neighbours the US for striking Venezuela, or having their eyes on Mexico, Panama, and Greenland, and potentially us in Canada too. So I’ve kept the tree because who knows just how bad the next few months, or years are going to get. That’s a real downer, I get it, but… Shits fucked yo!
So while I’d like to have the front window unblocked to allow in as much sunlight as possible now that we are into January, the calm normalness of the tree, with the associated excitement of the build up to the Christmas holidays is a pleasant warmth that I don’t really feel in the pit of my stomach right now. It’s at times like this where I envy people who don’t have children. It’s one extra layer of existential dread that I hold about what future my children have on the horizon that eats at me when things go sideways from circumstances outside of my control. Love my children, hate worrying about how fucked their potential future is. Not cool.
It’s going to take me some time to pack it all away later today, but it’s likely for the best. Eyes forward to see the new year with clear sight, and a level headed gaze.
I need to go shovel the new snow we got last night. School begins on the morrow! Back to seven am wake ups, drop offs, pick ups, and extracurriculars! Onwards and upwards.
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