As tough as it was yesterday to pay respects to my dead friend, today will be far worse. Today we go to remember the feisty five year old. I expect to see parents and children at this one. You could have heard a pin drop yesterday during the service, excepting for a few sighs, sniffles, and an occasional soft sob. Today, who boy, I think we might hear wailing, moaning, and all sorts of histrionics. Not going to lie this weekend has had a difficult and exacting emotional toll. Although rather than be alone, but fir friends, this time I will have my whole immediate family with me. I expect them to only remain a short while before they make a quiet exit. I will stay for the visitation, service, and for a brief stint at any social afterwards if it is on site. This one will be hard to bear. It hits far to close to home for comfort.
So that has been my August Civic Holiday long weekend 2023 experience. I realize how selfish that sounds. One need only to imagine briefly the grief the affected family feels, and you will know how good you’ve actually got it. For us, a sad brief brake from summer vacation. For those suffering, a life time of changes and lost memories. The consequences of our actions are felt long after we leave, by those who had no way to change them.
By all accounts today is August 5th, 2023. A sunny, blue skied Saturday. The first Saturday of the month. And a holiday weekend at that. I think I’ve shared this before, here, that the week immediately after the accident is a total blur to me. I cannot for the life of me distinguish the actions of any one particular day, except Tuesday morning. I recall feeling very distracted that I could not work. And yet I still had enough rolling about upstairs to locate relatives to ask permission to begin the fundraiser. Wait for approvals, and then build, manage, update, thank, and execute by myself. It was one of the few things that kept me from wallowing in sadness at the loss of my friend, and our daughters friend/classmate. Between expanding the posts reach on various socials, answering related emails, fb chats, messages, phone calls, texts, and journalists inquiries (only 3, luckily). Plus I think I wrote out over 250 thank yous to all who donated. I realize that should I ever decide to do another one, I need to organize a full team, and delegate tasks to others. I will say this, the GoFundMe people were a pleasure to work with. My interactions with them were brief, concise, and courteous. It was a simple platform to use, and I didn’t find their service/transaction fees to be outrageous. I give them 5/5 stars. With more than $27,000.00 dollars Canadian raised, they took less than $900.00 in fees. Which I felt was reasonable. You don’t get service rates that good from a bank. But what do I know. I’m sitting on my floor dreading going to this second funeral in two days. So maybe my judgement is clouded. Hard to say.
Less than 2 hours away from the start of the next service. Showered, shaved, and clothes set out for all of us. Remind me not to let my kids swim the day before because the hair we laboured over for hours to get detangled is a mass of knots once more. Pixie cuts all around I say! Or a far shorter summer Bob needs to be instituted if my kids won’t handle their own hair, nor let us do it daily. Grr! Buzz cuts would make things just that much easier for summer. I’m rambling now. We need to eat before heading off. Don’t need hangry kids running about getting emotional. Ciao Bella. Take care of yourselves out there.
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