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The point of this, and hopefully future paintings is not to be good, but to help me regain my “hand feel” for the brushes, and the movement of the pain on canvas. I haven’t painted for pleasure all that much since I finished art school (the first one). I have gone through two art programs, one introductory to Fine Arts, and the other for Graphic Design. I’m not naturally talented, nor do I have connections in the art/gallery world, so being a self proclaimed fine artist fell flat before I had even finished my year’s long course. But I’m good enough that it gave me a leg up against non artists in graphic design, so I’ve worked almost exclusively with a mouse since 2006. I did a handful of paintings for my kids, one or two each over the last eleven years, so I’m fairly rusty. I did two or three for the fair over the years, but also not very good. I’ve lost the touch!

So going back to it I have been very explicit with myself about the fact that I am not aiming for good art, just finished art work. Working the brush edges, relearning how to layer glazes, trying to stipple, and sweep, and swirl, and curl complex shapes. Trying to get consistent with line weights, and control over the paint itself. All of it takes time. And the results are in the time spent, not the final product that looks like ass. If after the year is out, I find I like stuff more and more, then that will likely keep me coming back, but for now, it’s about doing the paintings, not looking for admiration, or applause for the images I produce.

Nobody claps for the pages upon pages of cross hatching practice we did in class, and for homework, but the skills you developed from that made your class work better. You could tell who was building muscle memory for repeatability, and who was just getting lucky here and there. How many isometric cubes did we doodle back in school, hundred? Thousands? It felt like busy work, but being able to draw straight lines unaided is super difficult. Takes years of drills, and practice. Nobody cares for that, just the clean crisp line work on a mock-up of a product.

You can certainly enjoy the admiration that good art receives, but if you hate to practice proportions, perspective, shading, line work, weighting, balance, colour theory, and how to handle your brushes, and pencils then you don’t live being an artist, you like being liked. Which is cool. You do you. But do much of what goes into it is unseen, and not glamourous at all. Sitting on a horse, or standing at an easel keeping the muscle memory alive.

I look to Alex Maleev, and Alex Ross for inspiration, not to compare myself against. Take hints, and tips from their body of work, not cry because I can’t replicate it with any fidelity. That’s nuts. I’m pulled in many different directions, and don’t want to try to become them. I’m trying to find me. What’s my voice. What’s my style. Where do I feel comfortable. Where do I excel. Where do I feel free to expand, and explore artistically. Trying to home in on that has proven very challenging.

I look at old work, where I can tell I was having fun, and going for broke. I want to get back to small brushes, small canvas, and weird characters. I have tried for years to capture realism, and failed miserably. It’s not in the books for me. I want pop colour, pop art nonsense. Robots, killer samurai teddy bear assassin’s, blood splatter, and organic shapes. I don’t do hard edge, hard sci-fi. Not with paint anyway.

Even when I sculpt I avoid cars, guns, machinery and the like. I like fat doughy bad guys, that are muscly but indulge in eating too much. Former champs that are no longer symmetrical hulks, but chunky monkeys. I like the stretch, and lay of fats, and tissue. I like lanky haired, massive beasts. Ropey arteries and veins on necks, and biceps. Those things tell stories, and are things I can adequately capture in clay. Play to your strengths.

So while my paintings aren’t classically good, by any stretch of the imagination, I’m happy about it (them) because I’m doing the thing. I’m building that muscle memory back up. I’m allowing for that outlet to happen. It gets too easy to not work because you become unhappy with the final outcome. Let it go. If you find peace, or happiness in the doing, then don’t linger on the ending. It’s just a picture. You can paint over it in white and go again. That’s the glory of a canvas. Go again.

We’ve had about ten inches of snow here since last night. Everything is cancelled. All the things closed. Dog walk at the farm postponed. I spent an hour or two shoveling in the minus twenty six windchill, and I no longer feel like doing much of anything. It is however still snowing, I see another round or two in my immediate future. Fun times!

I drew some stuff on a canvas in the middle of last year but never got around to doing anything with it, so this last week or so I have been slowly adding colour to it, and although it’s a terrible painting, it is bringing some of the feeling back into my hands. I don’t draw or paint much, so I have lost most of the finger touch that I had for it. Use it or lose it they said, and I didn’t want to believe them, but it’s a cliche for a reason. Kernel of truth to it, and all that jazz.

Under painting, multiple coats, watered down gradients in the shadows, it’s all there. Doesn’t look good, but as a practice run to relearn the techniques it’s working out just fine. I can do one more later of shadows, two high lights, and then I will go over it all in black to pick out the details, and that should put an end to it. Will I carry on, and find something else to draw. Then paint over top of? I don’t know. I know Iiss painting. Like I miss drawing a fair bit too. But add in reading, writing, sculpting, guitar practice, singing, wood working, model kit building, war gaming terrain building and I have altogether far too many hobbies. I’m not particularly skilled at any one of those, but I like them, and enjoy them all a great deal. The spice of life!

My goblin king hasn’t had that much progress as of late, I should get him finished up as that’s a goal I have for this year. I probably need to wear my glasses for that now too, because I notice my eyes are getting weaker. Not a fan of that by any stretch of the imagination. I could texture the skin, and then start his chainmail, clothes. And armor. Maybe add a few detailed trinkets, who knows, the world is my oyster.

Hope your Wednesday is off to a good start. Going to get really cold and nasty tomorrow!

Word on the street is that later this week the temperatures are going to dip down around minus nineteen or lower with the windchill. I will definitely have to wear either snow pants or long johns when out with the dog, or waiting at the school to pick up my children. That’s an uncomfortable amount of cold, especially if it’s at all windy. That shit will cut right through you. Chill your body down to the bone. At that point that’s when fingers and toes swell, go bright red, and then burn when thawing out. Unpleasant experience. Worse if you get damp, or wet while out of doors.  So stay clear of open ice, creeks, rivers, and ponds when it gets that cold, as a plunge far from shelter could kill you.

Tuesday is here, and I can feel the sun trying to overcome the cloud cover. The occasional blue sky, and sunny day is something to celebrate when we hit this dreary, grey stretch of winter. I’ll take all the sunshine I can get at this point!

We’re just sat in the car waiting for our dog walking pals to arrive, so the dogs can run about like idiots, and tire themselves out. They do look like they’re having fun playing chase, wrestling, and racing hither and fro. My pooch is currently crooning to himself in anticipation of his lady friend getting here. He’s a little softie when it comes to Gracie-Mae.

AI keeps asking if I want it to write the rest of my post, seems weird. How do you know what I’m thinking of? How well could it emulate my random blathering? Will it have the same silly spice I like to inject into my writing? Doubtful. I’ll continue to do it myself, spelling mistakes and all thank you very much.

The Hollywood trope that dominated sci-fi movies for far too long. It wound up in just about everything for a while there. Hard to care when every single villain just wants to fire multi coloured beams into the clouds to open a portal, tear through our dimension, enact an impenetrable shield, power up a floating gizmo etc… bor-ring!

Here we are, back on our Monday Morning bullshit. Got gas, walked the dog, dropped the kids off at school, and I’m now sat down to breakfast trying to map out the rest of my mid day. I have some Non Profit duties to attend to first and foremost, then I can look for work emails, or continue on with household chores. I did the majority of the laundry over the weekend. So now it’s just towels and sheets. Fun times ahead! At least it is a pleasant smelling chore. Not like cleaning toilets, or scrubbing the bath tub, or washing down the sink. Blargh. Not nice on the nostrils. Ewwwww.

I could run the dishwasher I suppose, because we are using altogether far too many spoons as of late. We have so many but the kids go through them so fast! So many spoon eaten items. Ridiculous. You’d think we would run out of bowls, or plates first, but no. It’s the spoons that have everybody’s attention right now. Must be on a yogurt kick or something!

I was going to take some books across town to the care & share, but it’s kind of cold, and I no longer feel like it. I think I missed the window to take the snowboards there anyway. I should have gone in November, but now I’ll have to hold on to them for another year, oh well. They won’t take the helmets anyway, so no harm done as far as I’m concerned. That one bag of gear isn’t going to make or break the garage. Not when there is so much waste wood, and other trash in there taking up floor space. The over the door racks are an after thought, where I keep Halloween, and Christmas decorations. One bag of snowboards being up there too doesn’t bug me.

Best be off about my day.

Somehow yesterday completely got away from me. I slept in until nine fifteen, and then took the eldest climbing with me, because the youngest wanted to walk the dog with her mother instead. We drove out there, climbed for what felt like only an hour or so, went across the street to fetch lunch for all four of us, then drove home. Ten seconds later it’s well after three, then it’s four thirty and starting to grow dark. I didn’t really do much of anything. I didn’t read, I didn’t draw, I spent five minutes painting, and perhaps ten on my goblin King sculpture, and poof dinner time. No hours long guitar practice session, no movie watched, no resin model kit progress, a couple loads of laundry done, but nothing to show for my entire day. It was really weird. I probably scrolled on my phone, or watched YouTube for a really long time without much notice. Bad habit! Terrible habit. Wasting my days watching other people do “things”, like cleaning out and organizing their shops, or machining items, or wood working. I could just go do that myself and feel better about my entire day. Rookie move.

Youngest has gone to a play date with friends, and the other will go later this afternoon. They should be happy about that, for a few seconds anyway. Wife says she might take the little one to go see the new Spongebob movie at the theater later on today. Might have some more opportunity to purge the house if everybody is gone for a few hours. That should make me feel like I used the weekend appropriately.

I have some winter gear to take for donations, and books to be rid of too. That plus a dog walk on Monday should fill up my morning. Maybe get some gas for the car before I head to the farm. Yes, a quality Monday morning awaits. Ha!

There is a hard balance to strike between doing nothing, that feels good, and doing something that feels productive, yet doesn’t interfere with being tested, yet doesn’t make me feel as though I completely wasted forty eight hours. The urge to do nothing, versus the desire to do something are always at odds with one another. Do too much — tired. Do too little and I feel guilty for wasting so much free time. It can be exhausting just trying to fit something into the nothing, without either over doing it, or doing too much of nothing in particular. I blame my phone for that. Also, the weather. I hate winter, so I’m not outdoors keeping occupied with the yardwork, trees, or wood splitting.

I should dig out my resin model kit and start that up again. It needs sanding, priming, painting, assembly, water slide decals, and panel lining too. Lots of work to keep me busy there. I could get my goblin king sculpt finished so that I can start the sculpey version that needs to be both baked, and painted for the next Markham Fair. I have a wood working furniture project I’d like to undertake for the front hall of the house. That would let me disassemble the gigantic dog crate which dominates our front entrance. Plus I do need to clean out the gathering waste that has collected in the garage. But that can’t go until later this coming week, or early February. Patience is a virtue they say. One I have very little of.

Sunday is here! Act accordingly.

Looks more like late March, early April outside today with all of the exposed green grass, blue sky, and perks of sunshine through the grey lined clouds. Also above zero degrees Celsius, so the roads are good and clear too. The rain drained off the streets over night, so it was a pleasure to drive across Markham to get us to the gym.

The girls both got new climbing shoes of their own for Christmas so now I can just head over and climb without paying anything extra. Nice. We have not yet tried out the new larger padded harnesses I picked up for us over the holidays. We don’t climb for that long so the free for kids under twelve versions are good for now. The padding only really makes sense if we are going to go and actively climb for a few hours. The ten seconds you spend descending isn’t enough time for the belts to dig or upset you. Plus, I need a much larger bag to hold three pairs of shoes, three chalk bags, and three padded harnesses, as well as my original basic harness, and our water bottle. Without ropes, helmets, or repelling gear we still have a tonne of equipment with us. It can get unwieldy.

It’s Saturday right now. Mid day at that. Had a couple of new projects this week, which is nice. Nothing major. I have started to ask around about part time work with the Town. Nothing too serious. Just looking to fill some gaps inbetween client work. Waiting for late payers can be taxing, so if I can start to see a small, but steady stream of wages from week to week, that would ease some of my anxiety around finances. You never know I could get a huge project come my way, or has an old client reach out for something substantial and all these concerns go away again for another year. No point taking on stress about money, if things can go from empty to overrun with a handful of emails one morning. I don’t want a massive amount of obligations on my plate because when I do get busy, it can last for months at a time.

I know I get like this when I’m in the midst of a slow period. Things will pick up again, just need to hold on until then. Stay positive. Keep on keeping on.

In other news I read an additional 30 pages of a book I started last year. I’m almost halfway through the whole novel now. I still feel the same way about it. I think I want to find large print format science fiction, because my eyes are not getting any better, and going for my glasses is a hassle. Important thing is, I did some reading, and not just cleaning while doom scrolling.

Everytime I go in the garage all I can think of is how I desperately want to get rid of the waste wood from the garbage bin box, and the train table, plus some old bird houses, and tool trays I made many years ago. We have garbage in there now too because my inlaws missed our garbage pick up while we were away visiting family in Ottawa over the holidays. Not to mention the two old blue boxes that need to get picked up by the GFL folks in early February. Makes me feel unsettled that all this junk is back in the garage once again.

Oh the cycle of life!

Woke up extra early today to take the new van to the dealership to have some rear impact airbag modules replaced due to a recall order. I guess the originals are more faulty than useful, so I am without wheels for four to six hours today, while the service techs dismantle my car interior to get at the two to four tubular inserts that need to get swapped out. The notice we received in the mail says it’s a two hour job, but the service desk tells me the folks that wrote that notice must do drugs because it’s a long tedious process, and could take up to six hours to do. Sounds like fun.

I was under the impression that I was going to have to wait at the service desk for the whole operation to finish, but they have a shuttle (which I was not aware of), so I opted to get a lift home, and then once the job is 30 minutes out, they can call me, then come bring me back to the dealership. Much preferred this route. I have the ability to work, eat, sit comfortably, and use my own bathroom for the six hours. Nice. Much appreciated. The other option was to find a corner to camp out in, and slowly sip my Gatorade, and nibble on snacks from my computer bag while I read, or watch stuff on my computer/phone. Being home is the far better option.

It is Friday January 9th, 2026. Almost double digit days into the month. I have had some new work come in, which is always good. I am waiting on one slow European client to pay an outstanding invoice from November, but we knew they were slow to pay going in, and I can sit tight on that for several weeks longer if I need to. I’ve had discussions about it with my primary client whom subcontracts me the work, so we’re on the same page, and I don’t direct my ire, or dismay towards him. If I get short, we know whom it is we are actually unhappy with. Managing expectations saves us a whole lot of animosity. Open communication!

Speaking of which, it’s early January so word is getting back to me of the small pockets of divorces, and trial separations that have been initiated. Made it through Christmas for the kids, and now they are parting ways. I guess this gives you the longest amount of time to get sorted out before the next Christmas season rolls around. It’s a thing. I brought it up at school pick up earlier this week, because I found it interesting. It’s legit a thing that people do. Quite common actually. I asked friends about it, and had an enlightening discussion. Informative. I’m not looking for a divorce, but it’s good to know the signs to be on the look out for, or to take this time to have a sit down with my spouse to make sure we too are on the same page, and are both getting what we need out of our relationship, and circumstances.

I see there is this “grass is greener” phenomenon when people see others get split up, and start to live “their best lives”, and people get drawn to it, and upend marriages because the single, mock twenties lifestyle seems more appealing than the daily married grind, with work, kids, life, beating on you 24/7. The appeal is having your kids only 50% of the time, so you can have date night(s), dance, drink, go clubbing, or just get out of the house child free with friends far more often. But then you have courts, lawyers, assets to split, losing your home, disruption to your kids lives etc… in some cases it’s for the best, you know with DV, or infidelity. But because you are envious of your circle of friends having new found freedoms, seems — idiotic. But I digress. I know life is tough, and having kids which you are actively engaged in parenting is tiring, and uses a massive portion of your daily lives. But as the kids get older, and more self sufficient, we get our time back! These last two years my spouse and I have actually had the ability to date one another again. Private meals, shows, movies, and it’s really great. We did go years without that, and it’s tough. Not particularly pleasant at times. Felt like roommates. But we worked through that, and now we are seeing the benefits. In another year our oldest can start to babysit legally, and we can try to go out a little more, like once a month, rather than once a quarter, or twice a year. Like I said, it’s getting better. Twice was better than none, four times better than twice, twelve better than four.

We aren’t real big on concerts, or the bar scene, but to be able to do a movie together, or a dinner once a month is going to be so much fun. We can try new restaurants, because we will know we can try again next month, instead of playing it safe on the two nights out we got in a calendar year. That could prove interesting.

Now I sit and wait to hear from the dealership. Two hours down, two to four hours left for the job to be completed. Let us pray it is finished, and I can pick it up, and get home in time for school pick up this afternoon. I’m hoping so! I took the time to empty out the van to make their lives easier. Wonder if that will pay off!

In my humble opinion Count Chocula is the number one chocolate based children’s cereal to beat, and you know what? Cheerios has delivered a verifiable second place with this delicious banger right here. If it had had chocolate marshmallows I might have placed it at 1.5, instead of at number two spot. My reasoning being that Count Chocula has sat in first for so long I don’t think anything could dethrone it, but you could sit at its right hand, ever so slightly below. Ha. Don’t come at me with Cocoa pebbles, because that slop is disgusting. Oh maybe you have a home town brand from Timbuktu that you think is hot shit, but if it ain’t widely available nationally, then that’s your little secret, and I’m glad for you. Gobble that shit down while you can. But for us outside of your zone of influence with the hometown value brand, we have The Count, and now this new Cheerios spin off flavour. If it takes off I hope they don’t water down the chocolate taste, in favour of some cheaper option, because as it stands, right now, it’s pure money! This stuff is great. I’m a fan. I have two more boxes in the pantry, that’s how much I believe in this stuff. I picked up their fruit flavoured option too, but I’m weary of that not being much better than Fruit Loops which I don’t care all that much for. I mean, I’ll eat it, but I’d go for Raisin Bran as an option before I reach for the Loops.

Well that’s my little cereal diatribe done. Finally hit the grocery store for a restock today. Had been holding off because Christmas got a little “spendy” and my wallet feels a tad lighter than usual. New budget restrictions means we eat more of what we’ve already got, instead of just picking at the goodies and letting everything else go out of date. Also with these looming actions against NATO allies I wanted to have a full pantry in case shit goes sideways. Now I wish I had taken my gun courses to get my PAL. Not that a 30 ought six would do much against a foreign military trampling up my road, but at least I could feel as though I had done something. If it comes to that perhaps they would pause PAL restrictions in favour of us all defending ourselves from the invaders. Get that Geneva Checklist warmed up for those who would trespass against us. Guerilla warfare and all that jazz.

Not a fan of having to think about that, but the world will never be like it was just a decade ago. That ship has sailed. They’re talking about three zones of influence out in these streets, and it’s not a good thing. Russia/Europe, China, and the US. Doesn’t sound like there’s much room for anybody else. You’re either with them, or crushed under their heel from what I’m reading, seeing in the news. Won’t take much for this to get ugly.

It’s Thursday today.  The dog is currently asleep by my feet after his third consecutive play date with Gracie-Mae. They are evening out at around 30 minutes of all out running, chasing, snarling, and teeth clacking before they want a drink, and a lie down. Keeps them pretty immobilized for the remainder of the school day, I can tell you that much.

I need to clean out the van in preparation for tomorrow ‘s airbag replacement work over at the dealership. I could get stuck there for up to six hours. It’s not going to be much fun. Compared to what else is going on in the world, it’s not that big a deal. I’ll bring a book, my headphones, and my computer if I feel I absolutely have to. Best be off about my business.

Once his sweat girl arrived they were little more than a furry blur as they ran about, chasing each other, and playing together in the snow. They took a brief respite when “Bobby Biscuits” turned up, and the dogs fled to the farm house to get a treat, then immediately afterward resumed play like that didn’t just happen.

He is a funny pup, all of his girlfriends are larger than him, by a non trivial amount. They are all longer than him, head to tail, and taller, toe to shoulder. He gets rolled quite a bit by all of them, whether it’s Gracie-Mae, Ivy, Lainey, or Grainger. All of them manhandle him and he lives every second of it. What a goofy little fella.

It’s a bit warmer today, so all the ice and snow has turned to slush. My boots are soaked, and the dogs wet too. Stinky wet boy! Of course that means coming home to shovel the snow, ice, and slush off of all of our flat surfaces. Trying hard to keep water out of the basement! Takes a good amount of effort to shovel the walk way, driveway, side of the house, and entire back patio. Occasionally I will take heavy snow off the deck too, but I figure the rain will do most of that for me, as we have a short warm spell coming for two or three more days.

Yesterday was the new blue bin day. It went off without a problem, but the green bins on our street are still curbside, and full from yesterday morning. I guess the freezing rain, snow, and Christmas tree disposal added too much work and we were forgotten about, or given up on. Oh speak of the devil, here they come, GFL to empty our bins… Finally! No need to worry about that anymore.

Have a good Wednesday.

The kids got off to school with a little excitement surrounding the potential freezing rain storm that’s heading our way later today. Might have to walk down to get them at three o’clock this afternoon if the weather does as they say it’s going to do. If that makes any sense. If the weather actually turns up then the afternoon activities are cancelled too. No tutoring, no Girl Guides, and no climbing either. It can be so hard to predict what’s coming that at this point we’ll believe it when we see it. That’s not a knock against meteorologists. We all know how chaotic the weather has gotten within the last five years. Too many confounding variables!

Luckily the other dog has arrived on the farm, and the two maniacs are running free tiring themselves out with little effort on our behalf. This is the life! Exercised dogs and a nice chat. The farm is a fantastic resource for those of us with dogs. They can be let off leash to just run, and run, roll around in the snow, and play chase unfettered. If I had to run him on a leash to get this much energy out, I would probably pass out from exhaustion myself. I still need to be able to work, clean the house, and be awake enough to chauffeur my children about town for extracurriculars. No good if I need a weeks worth of sleep to get over walking the dog. Best to let these two puppies run each other ragged, scoop up whatever is left, and go home to some peace & quiet. Work smarter, not harder!

Today is the first day with the new 360 L recycling bins. I even went so far as to carve out a little stoop for my bin down by the road, so as to not block my ever shrinking driveway entrance. We keep getting more snow, and I am quickly running out of places to put it. Now when I shovel I have to throw it several feet up, and over the current mounds, so that it A.) doesn’t tumble back down onto the driveway, B.) Doesn’t create a standing pool of water once we get some sun light or slightly warmer temps, C.) leaves myself more room to use for snow clearing since I do not want anymore snow, but that doesn’t mean we won’t get any! It’s early in the season, we could get up to 2 feet of more snow over the coming month, then again in February, and potentially more accumulating in early March too! Do the hard work now so you aren’t totally boned in a few weeks time.

Oh, the plows are here now, so my bins going to get buried in road slush, fun, fun, fun. Have I said how much I detest winter yet? If it isn’t already noticeable, I hate the snow, I hate the cold, I hate the ice. The only thing I do like, and it lasts for about a week, is how much nicer the holiday lights look in a fresh blanket of snow. But even that is fleeting, and could leave me in peace come January first.

The dogs have had their fill of one another, and look about ready to collapse in a fluffy heap. Best get them off home for a snooze. The windshield is showing rain droplets now too. I guess it is going to arrive earlier than the predicted one o’clock start. Could make things interesting!

Happy Tuesday January 6th, 2026 from southern Ontario Canada.