With Thoughts Like These – Page 7 – Greatwall Studios Graphic Design

Why is getting up in the morning so hard.

September 13, 2023greatwallstudiosLeave a Comment

I am starting to understand why so many people have leaned on coffee in order to wake up and get out of bed in the mornings. I’ve always tried to do it by getting enough sleep. But quantity does not equal quality, as far as sleep is concerned. So if I’m not going to use coffee or tea, nor any sort of stimulant, then I need to get a higher quality of restful sleep at night so that I don’t wake up feeling cloudy headed, or miserable. No pressure. Just sleep better. Right? Ha ha. Not so easy when you think about it. But I digress. No sleep studies or months of research going on here today. Just know that what coffee & tea do to my insides is enough to swear off either for a life time of groggy mornings. Could my poor sleep be from my mattress, air quality, temperature of the room, my intestinal issues, external stressors, general health, my weight (think BMI). It really could be a whole host of things. Or compiling results from multiple factors. Is it from the food I eat? Is it due to when I eat. Is it because I suffer from malabsorption, among other things. Is my age a factor? So many facets to reflect upon. But every now and again I have such an amazing nights sleep, and there is no discernible difference in the days events, meals, or lead up to it that I can use to recreate that great nights sleep moving forward. Frustrating to say the least.

Doesn’t mean I can’t still hate getting up with an alarm. And I’m not even up all that early either. My 5:35am days are over, as far as I am concerned. I’ve acclimated to 7:00 am, and that feels early to me now. Though I will say this, I don’t experience the 2pm crash quite like I used too. But then I would also nap twice a day on my 2 hour long commute each way via train. So there is that to consider.

It is now Wednesday. Halfway through week two of being back to school. Starts to move quickly once you factor in all the extracurriculars, work, holidays, events, and such. Fair time, thanksgiving, Halloween, then the massive build up to Christmas with a couple of birthdays thrown in every which way along that time line, and POW! It will be 2024 before you even know it. Amazing how time flies. Add in some unfolding health issues from great grandma, and an unwell uncle at the farm, and time will begin to race past us.

I think we are planning on finishing up the Strawberry patch this morning. So another week of sore ham strings, and a nagging lower back to look forward to. The berries will look pretty good afterwards though. Take care out there. Ciao Bella!

Water softener vs Refrigerator: Which is worse?

September 12, 2023greatwallstudiosLeave a Comment

The freezer has once again kicked off and frozen over at the vents making the fridge portion warm. And the Ecopure 30K grain water softener still shows Err03, and is absolutely pissing water out the drain pipe though the internal tank is not getting lower, as the water line is up to the bottom of the six. So a valve is stuck open somewhere (from what I can tell, but not being mechanically inclined that’s a guess, based on the volume of water going out the drain versus what little to no movement I can see inside the tank, which is what should be draining). So… yeah.

My daughters room fan ground to a halt on Sunday night, so I have been out to replace it. In June I pulled it apart myself, and used my air compressor to clean it all out, and then used lubricant to quiet down the fan, which lasted all of a month. So either the lube didn’t get to where it was needed most, or it needs white lithium grease inside the motor, as the squeal was metal on metal rubbing. Hard to mistake that pitch of squealing distress.but now that it is trash I’ll take any machine screws I can find out of the unit, and will toss the rest. I have the older busted air purifier to do that to aswell. Plus an old iron and a broken, burned out blender motor base. The screws, bolts and such are handy. The plastic and innards less so, for me atleast. Trying to only pack rat the vital pieces, and not collect a broken electronics graveyard.

So that’s my Tuesday as of 9:30am. We were going to go to the driving range today, but storms and appointments got in the way. My wife has an hour long chat with her doctor right now, and I have blood work to be drawn at 2:00pm. So not a travel to wander a mall day. If work remains quiet we may just watch a movie together and listen to the rain.

I do eventually need to check that the softner is actually doing something, or else I need to go reset it.

I know that all of my tomatoes plants will be glad for the rain today. I didn’t water them much at all during August. They are massive and sprawling plants now. But few blooms or actual tomatoes. Until recently. Now the four plants might produce more than we could eat in a years time. Funny how that is. Apple trees went berserk this year too. Same with the grapes and raspberries. Likely same with the cherry tree, but the birds and local wildlife striped my tree bare before we had a chance to collect one single cherry. Not one! The blasted pests ate them all as they were on the verge of transitioning from greenish pink to red. BAM! The whole lot gone. The squirrels ravaged my raspberries too. The local hare ate my strawberries, even though the plants grow back each year they don’t produce much fruit.

Back to the pesky water softener. So far I have swapped out the wiring harness, the switch, the cam, and the motor itself. Besides the circuit board and physical unit, there isn’t anything left for me to replace, jiggle, tighten or manhandle on this infernal machine. Next step is to toss it to the curb along with the previous twenty year old model. And then buy a third one and have that installed – again. Not going through five bags of salt a month is nice. I think we’ve used four since May. Better!

Not sure about where all this excess moisture is coming from for the freezer though. The lines are empty. Water line disconnected. The ice cube maker disabled. There is no frost line near the seal to point to an external leak. But the vents are positively frosted over entirely. So I need to empty the freezer – again. Thaw out the vents – again. Move the milk downstairs, and any other items we want to keep. Very thankful for the ancient fridge in the basement which came with the house. Can save the milk, eggs and bacon. Just emptied the freezer downstairs so I can save a few other items aswell. Good to have!

Offending water softner stuck on Err03. Where is all that water coming from?

Frozen over vents after 30 minutes of thawing in the open air. Soon to be 2L puddle under the fridge.

So much for Tuesday. How many more bandaids can I apply to these appliances before we have to buy new ones! The struggle is real. Ciao Bella!

Watching the new slate of consoles pass me by.

August 28, 2023greatwallstudiosLeave a Comment

I am still heartily enjoying my Xbox 360, so have missed the Xbox One, Playstations 3, 4, and 5. I see the graphics get exponentially better, but the gameplay doesn’t seem to do anything for me. I liked in the room Co-OP as a kid, but am not the least bit drawn to online multiplayer, so the bulk of the last 10-15 years worth of gaming has whizzed by me without a care in the world. I’m not the demographic they are after. No problem. I do look longingly as things like the Nintendo Switch that still builds platformers, and single player self contained campaigns that don’t need DLC. I’m old now. I want the whole finished product in my hand at the time of purchase. The Switch lite is calling out to me. Just a little bit. But I know if I get one I’ll either spend just about every waking hour with it to the detriment of everything else in my life, or I’ll use it two or three times and put it away, where the batteries will corrode and ruin the whole thing inside of 18 months. There is no inbetween. I used to lose days at a time with Fable (1, 2 & 3), Diablo 3, Space Marines 40K, and a couple others. Having kids meant putting that stuff to bed so as not to be neglectful. But now my oldest is nearing double digits in age, I think the tech draw might make a come back. I just don’t know about the nearly $1,000.00 price tag for the unit, additional controllers, and an early stable of games to play. Disks and not downloads either. We can see the shenanigans going on with streaming, no way that Ish doesn’t burn the gamer crowd too. So physical media it will have to be.

I miss the old school platformer type games. I did enjoy Halo as a run & gun fps, but now it seems like everything is a sand box, or open world, or requires 100 hours to git güd. I’m not about that – son. I want to flow in, flow out of a saved game with ease, and not need to manage overly complicated skill trees, inventories, maps, directions, mission details and what not. I want to move from the left side of the screen to the right, bounce, jump, punch, or kick some shit, and carry on as the screen scrolls forward a bit. Like old school TMNT, or Double Dragon, or Fists of fury, Alex kid in shinobi world, pac man. Simple but fun. That’s not to say that I won’t enjoy a brief foray into something more complicated. I just know that if/when I do, I may get too distracted by it.

Oh well. Those are my Monday morning musings for today. Are you all looking forward to week nine of the summer break? Wow huh. Time flies! Although this one is just a little longer with the holiday Monday next week. What a strange, long, and short summer it has been. Work was consistent this summer. And I feel like there will be a good amount of projects coming in the fall aswell from other clients to finish the year strong. I don’t have any foresight into 2024 as of yet. But I feel as though this year will likely have been just as strong as 2022. Which is terrific. Amazing even.

Never did get out to see Oppenheimer, but I am reading “American Prometheus” upon which it was based, so that’s cool. Long form, indepth, and as nuanced as one could make it, I suppose. It’s good. I’m enjoying it. The question of his CP (Communist Party) affiliations takes up much of the beginning of the book. Sympathetic to the cause, certainly, an on the books die-hard member? I should think not. I’m interested in the time spent at Los Alamos. Those few years are what I’m interested in reading more about. The demon core tragedy took place at that time too. I read Robert J Sawyers Oppenheimer alternate history book last year and it was a fantastic read too. Very interesting. The whole physics, chemistry, & math wizz thing goes right over my head. But it’s interesting to see how others, much smarter than myself, synthesize, and iterate answers to such complex problems. By all accounts Oppenheimer was a great ideas man, not so good on the detailed follow through. I love that. Fascinating. To be able to understand the big picture well enough to know things will work, but not know those finer details down to the third decimal place, is astounding. Incredible. Like I said, those folks are much smarter than i am.

Was thinking of taking my oldest to see Barbie but that didn’t materialize. Then I had hoped to see the new animated TMNT movie with both kids in tow. But the youngest has expressed zero interest in the franchise, nor the ability to sit through 90 minutes of a movie she’s never seen before. Given how expensive everything is I don’t fancy spending almost $100.00 but for three 3D tickets plus food & snacks for her to NOT watch the film, or negatively impact the viewing experience for my eldest daughter or myself. Not cool. So now we wait for Bluray/DVD to get released and we can sit and watch it over and over on multiple occasions. I’m good with that.

All the best out there. Ciao Bella!

Divisive fact: House rules on games beat what’s listed on/in the box.

August 26, 2023August 26, 2023greatwallstudiosLeave a Comment

I say this because some of y’all been creating bloated over designed games that rely on a massive text book sized set of rules that impedes the fun we are trying to have. So if I should trim those rules down, or eliminate some clunky mechanics that’s a plus in my book. Why slavishly hold to the printed word if those words are either unclear, overly complicated, drag on the flow of the game, or are just upsettingly idiotic. So, now we have House Rules, and those outweigh the printed rules around here. Provided – he says. We all agree on them prior to playing. Can’t just be out here changing the rules on the fly. Unless! You all encounter a game crashing/ending bug that you all refuse to accept and can negotiate a new addendum rule to alleviate the issue. So that’s my thought on that. Like – the makers of Uno have these wild thoughts about what you can play after certain cards are dropped, and we say – yeah fuck that noise, we be about our own rules here my friend. +4’s on +4’s, as many +2’s as you have in your hand can be played at once, and if you get the smack down laid upon you, you gather your new horde of cards, and still get a turn to play card(s) if you have the number, colour, face card to do so, or else you pick up a card and the turn moves on. Don’t at me, I said what I said.

Pretty sure today is Saturday. Looks lovely outside, with the sunshine, blue skies, and reduced humidity. I need to bag up some wind blown apples for my friends horses this weekend. Best to clear them out before the wasps all settle in. They, the wasps that is, get so aggressive in late August and September. Make the apple/pear trees a real hazard to have near by.

Once again I didn’t spend as much time utilizing our back patio as I would have liked. But since we go to the cottage several times a year, I sit looking out on the lake as opposed to the giant cedar hedge we have here. So not a downgrade, but it seems sad we don’t sit outdoors here much when we have the deck, stone patio, and a reasonably private space to be in with shade/sun, and breezes. I think our house would be better if the massive front & side yards were our actual back yard space. But it is what it is.

I was just interrupted by a massive Caterpillar crawling out from under the dishwasher across my kitchen floor. Beige-green in colour with a few long black spikes. How oddly random is that. I’ve gone ahead and scooped it up into a Tupperware container and put it outside on the deck. Where on earth would that have come from? Do we have gaps that lead in from outside under the counter/sink/dish washer? Is this a sign of some other expensive issue? I just can’t wait to find out.

Fridge is slowly heating up once again, but not icing over in the freezer portion, so that’s new, as far as the malfunctioning fridge sags goes. New water softener still isn’t right, but kind of works. Water heater was fixed with a new overflow valve, so that’s a check in the win column. Fun times.

Big Feelings – Tiny Little Baby Bodies.

August 24, 2023greatwallstudiosLeave a Comment

How do these furious & wild mood swings emanate from such small children seemingly from out of the ether? These two kids man. Woah! It’s like magic with these two. Pulling on endless streams of angst, anger, and histrionics. Not sure whether it’s all coming from frustration with video games, or the looming start of school, the end of summer, growth spurts, sibling rivalry or what. But it is here, and it is fierce. These two have a seemingly endless supply of “MOOD” to attack each other with. Enough “BIG FEELINGS” to weight down an air craft carrier. Pray for us.

Here I was just 24 hours ago lamenting how quiet the house was without them, and now their frustrations, and anguish echoes off of every surface. It rings in my ears, rather literally once they manage to reach the fevered pitch of a tea kettle whistling indiscriminately. Did I miss their presence & smiles, and warmth of the heart. Yes. Do I miss the furious fighting? Yeah – not so much. My oldest, with less than ten days to go, has finally discovered the joy of sleeping in, but I’ll have to squash that in favour of waking up before 7am for school. Ha. One new set of issues to add into the mix come September. Glad for the hugs and good night kisses, could give the fighting a miss though.

So here we find ourselves once again, Thursday. With appointments to get to, errands to run, work to finish up, and an approvals process to observe. I think we are to have a few more days of rain, and if not rain then atleast overcast and cloudy. Temperatures more like mid to late September, than the dog days of summer like we are used to. Not that I miss the extremely hot stifling heat with no breezes that usually accompany the last days of August in southern Ontario. Perhaps we will once again wind up with a hotter November / December and on into January, with a wet cold October, and frigid February. Weird way to run things, but out of my control.

Hard to believe that we are almost into the ninth and final week of summer break. I feel as though we should be able to redo the two weeks in the middle, you know? I know we can’t, but that’s how it feels. Perhaps I over reacted by going and running a fundraiser to cover for being sad and upset. It certainly worked as a coping mechanism to get beyond the sadness I felt. Made it so I could sleep at night. Probably one of the more selfish things I’ve done in the face of emotional upheaval. Feeding on thanks & gratitude rather than wallowing in any sort of grief beyond the initial shock from the Monday night. Not a great quality, admittedly. But here we are.

I need to get a jump on a poster series for the upcoming Markham Fair 2023 at the end of September and very early October. So I best be about my business. Ciao Bella!

Home Alone – watching movies, reading, and working.

August 23, 2023greatwallstudiosLeave a Comment

Not necessarily in that order, but while the girls are all away for a bit this week, I tackled some minor cleaning, and watched some pretty violent movies at a reasonable hour. John Wick 4 was yesterday evenings attraction. Not a bad entry in the pantheon on Gun-Fu flicks. I liked it better than number three. But the first one is still the best. Sad to know now how the actor whom played The Concierge is actually dead, so no Continental Hotel of New York spinoff money for that guy. Too bad. Incredibly bad timing. But maybe they centre that set of stories around Winston The Manager now instead. Not sure how they’d do that. Writers strike will have to put a pin in it for now anyway.

I watched Scott Pilgrim vs. The World again on Monday night. Not really appropriate for the kids either, but less violent, sort of. No guns, but swords and fighting play a big role. So best to wait a few more years before I share that movie with either of them. I saw GOTG Vol 3 on my phone the day it came to digital, so I don’t need to rush to watch the Bluray. I’d like to share it with my wife, she sort of liked the first two anyway. Though, now we have this massively bloated roster of tv shows, specials, and other films in the universe that you have to have some (minor) understanding of, to enjoy the transition between movies 1 & 2, and the huge gap prior to movie 3. It certainly doesn’t play as an interlinked trilogy. Which spoils the overall flow just a little bit. Little bit. Little bit, you know? It feels as though someone cut out three hours of exposition between 2 & 3. Which they did. They smeared it over a bunch of other ‘content’, in hopes you’d watch that other stuff too, in order to get the whole picture. This film needed a prologue where they just straight up give you all that stuff up front. Would make it feel a whole lot more in line with movies 1 & 2 if they did. A Re-rerelease but with that upgrade would be beneficial. Oh well.

So here we are, Wednesday. Clean sheets, showered, house tidied up, and the rain outside is still falling. I have some projects to attend to, but otherwise a chill day is in store. The family is set to return today, in preparation for appointments tomorrow, and a child’s birthday party on the weekend. The house will come alive with noise once more! As much as I enjoy peace & quiet, I do miss the minions when they aren’t here with me. But I had loads to do, and I wasn’t much fun, so better to be with the rest of the family at the cottage to play with cousins, grand parents, aunts & uncles while I was working. Still missed them all terribly though.

So now we are down to the last 10 or 11 days of summer break 2023. Amazing how quickly nine weeks can pass you by. This summer will remain one to remember, not just for the tragedy, but for some other more pleasant memories. First time ever taking the kids to Wonderland! That was pretty awesome. Movies, parks, parties, pig farm, and sadly a funeral. Fireworks, shooting stars, fishing, paddle boarding, wake boarding, tubing, the fun seemingly never ends! The Bancroft Rockhound Gemboree! Finding a new route home! New roads, and books, and things to do & see. A very busy summer. Split by tragedy, right in the middle. Followed by the mad dash to fundraise, and then multiple funerals across southern Ontario. Sadly, at this point I think that will only start to happen more often, as we get closer to fifty years of age.

We are none of us left untouched by tragedy for long. May the long cold fingers of death not touch you until you are ready.

Pulling muscles and exposing weaknesses.

August 21, 2023greatwallstudiosLeave a Comment

To say that my fitness journey has been rocky is a vast understatement. My goal of getting down under 200lbs has stalled, stopped, started, faultered, and sputtered more than it has actually delivered any results, and mainly because I haven’t been able to keep with it for more than a week to ten days at a time.

I was moving along at a fair pace during winter, until I caught Covid during March break. And since I’ve had EBV fairly recently, like late 2015, I wasn’t in a rush to have SARS2 kickstart that virus back up again, nor risk any Long Covid symptoms so I gave myself twelve weeks less a day before I picked up my weights, and actually got physically active again. Then we got into summer and our travel plans and I did not ship my weights, nor my bike along with us. And now I’m home, heading into the fall, and I have done only a day or two of exercise in the last month or more. I tried pull ups in the park the other day, and did a horizontal zip line type thing, and the muscles through my chest and abdomin are screaming bloody murder at me. So no sit ups just yet. No body weight hangs either!

I do fantasize about doing a proper free weights regimen, or getting into cycling, or Crossfit again, but ultimately I want to lose weight, get into better shape, but not spend much money at all to do so. So much like my writing, I need to convert action into habits, and fit it into my every day without fanfare or bluster. I know I will NEVER wake up early just to exercise, but I would stay awake 10-15 minutes more to fit in a quick jumble through some minor movements, provided I don’t make myself all sweaty after having showered for bed already.

Whatever – point is, my physical fitness is lacking, my discipline and motivation to get in and do anything is an uneven ebb and flow. I need to change it from an event to a habit, and that requires a mental shift I haven’t been able to replicate since 615 days ago when I started writing every day. And in most cases my blog post is more like an uneventful journal entry, and not the short stories, or long form writing I had intended it to be. Still going though! So that’s something.

My weight is hovering around 203-206lbs, and my goal is to reach 185lbs, and then possibly continue to 175lbs, and then remain close to that goal weight. Heavy enough to remain substantial, but not heavy enough to really harm my joints, knees, hips, ankles etc… take some pressure off of my abdomin, try to reduce my snoring too. Do my best to reduce all these new jiggly bits. Size down the stomach an inch or two so that my pants fit more comfortably. I don’t need to go back to a size 30 waist, but to be comfortable in 32’s would be beneficial for my wardrobe. That would open back up all the nicer menswear I had to put away as I got heavier. My dress shirts would all become wearable, same with my suits, sport coats, and jackets. All my medium t-shirts could come out of retirement too. Oh to dream. Ha. But I need to do it though. Wishing and wanting don’t seem to get me more than a day or two in. Going to HAVE to do things. Eat smaller portions, and be more active. Walk more. Squats, push ups, sit ups, lunges, burpees, running, cycling, swimming, lifting weights, stretching. Some, all, or a combination of the above. Consistently. For weeks and months on end.

Don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging. I will be sure to report in regarding how things progress, or not. It’s a shame Fitbit’s are so pricey, a cheap step counter might be my best Avenue in. I like seeing a visual goal, and then reaching or exceeding something that I can see might work in my favour. Doubtful. Just an excuse to spend money. Though, I bet I can find my wife’s old first gen fitbit somewhere. Hmm.

Travel is nice, but I do like to be at home.

August 19, 2023greatwallstudiosLeave a Comment

That’s where I get the best sleep, and feel the most comfortable. There are the people I care most about right here under my feet, and nothing much else to worry about beyond them. My hobbies are here, my best working conditions are here, my favourite snacks in my favourite quantities are here. My access to physical media is here, so I don’t have to use copious amounts of data to watch what I already own. Movies, tv shows, cartoons you name it, we have a pretty good library of stuff to read, watch, listen to, or interact with. My garden is here. I can putter around the lawns & trees and tidy up outside for our own benefit here. My shop and select tools are here to fix stuff, make stuff, or alter things are here. I like it here, not out and about. My bathroom is here, which I can reach from any point on the property in just a handful of seconds and foot steps. That’s a top shelf reason to love being at home! In my case anyway.

Only two weeks and a few days remain of Summer Break 2023. It has whizzed by unfathomablly quick. I feel like there is a two week memory hole right dead centre of it all to. Shame about that. But perhaps we can do some fun stuff, more so than usual, to fill up that void zone from late July/early August. We went to see the therapy pigs at Sweet Acres last night. The kids all had a blast. They ran, jumped, shrieked, and flew about like feral children for a couple of hours. We fed the pigs cucumber chunks, and participated in a watermelon smash. The kids all loved that, even if it did get a little messy. Outdoors, few bugs in the cool evening weather. The rain was even kind enough to hold off for us so that we didn’t get soaked.

Hard to believe that nine weeks can sail by so quickly, but here we nearly are, right. Slightly more than two full weeks left, and then the kids are back at it. Grades four, and one. Really real school for the both of them. Do I wish that they would bring back the OAC year? Yes, very much so. As handy as the two year full day kindergarten was for me, an OAC year would be for them. Take the training wheels off, mature for one more year, before you drop a fortune on college/university with out ever having free rein to fail, like you would get in your (FREE) OAC year in high school. The self reliance training you got from an OAC year was a real eye opener for some on just how hard being self motivating can be when you have access to all day parties, events, clubs, computer games, no parents, and more freedom than you’ve ever had in your life. You can’t shelter kids for 14 years of school, in a nanny state of mind, and then fob them off and expect anything other than a melt down or total disorder. The OAC year was the way to test those waters under ideal conditions. Not a new school, not new people, not a new town, not new living conditions, no major expenses for books/courses/food/entertainment. Just the last step off the dock ladder to float out into the water and see if you will sink or swim. And then make adjustments for the year after in order to be successful. But not now. Now it’s no failing, and handholding until you just walk straight off the dock, get soaked, shocked, panic, and flounder. Some kids from lower incomes probably already had to take care of themselves, so can do laundry, cook minor meals, gather themselves for time sensitive tasks. But those who were helped every single step of the way are now frozen, and don’t know where to begin. As the money rolls out of your account regardless of how well they can cope. I’m telling you, the cutting of the OAC year was a mistake. But I have zero facts, data points, nor sources to site here. Just my own experience, and the anectodal stories of the high school teachers I talk to.

Welcome to Saturday. We’ve got some early apple picking to do this afternoon down at the farm. A warm evening in the orchard. I hope the wasps aren’t crazy aggressive yet, as that may pose a significant hazard to my enjoyment of early season apple picking. Otherwise a quiet day ahead. Ciao Bella.

Aging with Crohn’s Disease…

July 30, 2023greatwallstudiosLeave a Comment

Over the last month or so the new normal is feeling fine, followed by an emergency broadcast to use the bathroom which has roughly 30-60 seconds to comply before calamity. No other sense of impending doom is given. No thirty minutes out tummy rumbles. No bloat. Just all’s fine, then Go!, go, go, go, ahhhhhh shucks.

So that’s a fairly perfect snap shot of my life over the last thirty days. Living with intestinal issues has been challenging to say the least. I’m nothing if not adaptable to the realities of my new normal, as it alters and fluctuates every so often, year in and year out. I’m far better off now than in my teen years, or even my early twenties. So don’t shed any tears for me. I am accustomed to taking very seriously the realities of my particular brand of illness. It cares not one whit for how things used to be, or any markers or indicators I used to use to gauge my internal gut health. Not knowing your bodies signals right away is weird. I have to live through it enough to be able to piece the new way together. Do I get cause and effect, coincidence, correlation jumbled? Yeah – yes I do. But if this new way stay stable long enough you can narrow the signals down to what is random noise, and what are the new big sign posts I should pay very close attention too.

Acid reflux and heartburn aren’t new, but the increased frequency with which I deal with those is new to me. Drinking pint glass after pint glass of water has helped out. Eating less dairy per day is usually a smart play. Finding the right balance of veggies and fruit that doesn’t make me feel as though I have swallowed broken glass. Needs to be enough to keep me healthy, but not enough to trigger my ulcerated bowel.

Anyone with intestinal issues has probably internalized a certain (***TMI WARNING***) personalized colour chart, a sense for the sickly sweet smells our bodies produce, and a Richter scale for intestinal rumbling that we use to chart out and/all travel plans, or how far from a restroom we’re willing to be and for how long. In my youth I had to plan out my routes to events or places by what bathrooms were on the way, and whether or not I had to buy stuff to access those bathrooms, and if the owners / operators were ok with a running in and blowing ass all over the insides of their toilet stalls. I never left a place looking any worse than I found it, but I can’t say the same thing for anyone else.

So how is your Lazy Sunday going? The weather has had the humidity drained off, thankfully. Yesterday was rainy, but it opened up into a lovely Saturday afternoon & evening. Sunny right now. Somewhere around 18°C, no visible sign of a breeze. I have dome quarterly meeting this evening for the Non-Profit whose board I sit on. That should be about 60-90 minutes of my evening planned out.

The fundraiser for Erik was a success, we raised the $25,000.00 goal in roughly 72 hours or so. As the goal was met, and now exceeded, I plan to close it down come Monday morning. I have toggled my intent to stop accepting donations, and will finalize those plans tomorrow. With the expectation that all funds go into a trust for Erik to be used for his grief/trauma counseling needs until he reaches eighteen. I have faith that it will be enough to last the full eight or so years. A massive thank you to everyone whom donated, and made this fundraiser possible.

The Mantra I have to remember…

July 27, 2023greatwallstudiosLeave a Comment

It’s not about me. Don’t make it about “you”. I can see it clear as day how tantalizing it would be to put yourself at the centre of it all. The attention, engagement, messages, tweets, DM’s, phone calls, and the dopamine hits from watching the counter climb. It’s all very tiring and yet deeply intoxicating. But it’s not about me. Not about me. Stay out of it. Don’t heed the siren’s call. Avoid the rocks yo!

I’ve been quoted in more news articles in the last 48 hours, than the previous 43 years and several months combined. Not about you bro. Stay on track, keep the campaign running but stay in the background. Do the leg work. Build on the ground swell, for Erik. For the scared nine year old whose whole world has just been tipped on its end. Make it count, for Erik.

I have learned a few things, some terrific, others less so, while running this campaign. The best thing I’ve learned is how passionate our community is in providing long term mental health care for a child in need of a helping hand. People are generous, kind and supportive. Love that. Then there are the hangers-on, seeking to build their own personal brand, or networking connections, even a pay-cheque for their efforts to glom on to something that looks as though it could do numbers. That I wasn’t prepared for, but should have been. A tad naive in that respect, that my dear friend, is entirely on me.

There are other things I’ve learned, and am still learning, so I’ll leave it at that for now. Perhaps after the campaign is done, and I get the accumulated funds off to Erik so that he may continue on his long journey to healing I’ll have more to say about my experience. But, it’s not about me. This blog is, mainly just me talking out loud, but you get what I mean.

When we put this campaign together, my wife and I discussed it at length thinking what was the best possible thing we could do, when what you really want to do is not possible. We can’t raise the dead. Sad as that may be. But with a smidge of objectivity, borne out of a distance from the tragedy, and my wife’s working knowledge of therapy costs from working with at risk youth, we felt a longer term approach was the path to take. It ain’t much, but it’s honest work. I’d hope that someone would do the same for my family.

I spoke with various people to ascertain if I was stepping on toes, or competing against wishes or what have you. Once I was given their blessings I just got the ball rolling. Really the bulk of this gift of longer term mental health & wellness comes from you all. I don’t have $12,500.00 to give, so this is a massive community win. I am so glad for the support. My heart swells thinking about what an opportunity this is for Erik in his time of need. Thank you all so much.

https://gofund.me/2be8e91c

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