The Mantra I have to remember…

It’s not about me. Don’t make it about “you”. I can see it clear as day how tantalizing it would be to put yourself at the centre of it all. The attention, engagement, messages, tweets, DM’s, phone calls, and the dopamine hits from watching the counter climb. It’s all very tiring and yet deeply intoxicating. But it’s not about me. Not about me. Stay out of it. Don’t heed the siren’s call. Avoid the rocks yo!

I’ve been quoted in more news articles in the last 48 hours, than the previous 43 years and several months combined. Not about you bro. Stay on track, keep the campaign running but stay in the background. Do the leg work. Build on the ground swell, for Erik. For the scared nine year old whose whole world has just been tipped on its end. Make it count, for Erik.

I have learned a few things, some terrific, others less so, while running this campaign. The best thing I’ve learned is how passionate our community is in providing long term mental health care for a child in need of a helping hand. People are generous, kind and supportive. Love that. Then there are the hangers-on, seeking to build their own personal brand, or networking connections, even a pay-cheque for their efforts to glom on to something that looks as though it could do numbers. That I wasn’t prepared for, but should have been. A tad naive in that respect, that my dear friend, is entirely on me.

There are other things I’ve learned, and am still learning, so I’ll leave it at that for now. Perhaps after the campaign is done, and I get the accumulated funds off to Erik so that he may continue on his long journey to healing I’ll have more to say about my experience. But, it’s not about me. This blog is, mainly just me talking out loud, but you get what I mean.

When we put this campaign together, my wife and I discussed it at length thinking what was the best possible thing we could do, when what you really want to do is not possible. We can’t raise the dead. Sad as that may be. But with a smidge of objectivity, borne out of a distance from the tragedy, and my wife’s working knowledge of therapy costs from working with at risk youth, we felt a longer term approach was the path to take. It ain’t much, but it’s honest work. I’d hope that someone would do the same for my family.

I spoke with various people to ascertain if I was stepping on toes, or competing against wishes or what have you. Once I was given their blessings I just got the ball rolling. Really the bulk of this gift of longer term mental health & wellness comes from you all. I don’t have $12,500.00 to give, so this is a massive community win. I am so glad for the support. My heart swells thinking about what an opportunity this is for Erik in his time of need. Thank you all so much.

https://gofund.me/2be8e91c

Running a GoFundMe campaign

For the surviving child of our family friend. Please go check it out.

https://gofund.me/1b01776a

We are raising money to help cover the out-of-pocket costs for a decades worth of trauma counseling for Erik.

How do you tell your little kids some of the worst news they’ll hear.

Tragedy struck on Sunday night when our family friends were killed in an accident. My friend, and her five year old daughter in one fell swoop. My kids adored them both. We attended the five year gold’s 5th birthday party a mere two weeks ago. Hell, we met up at Wonderland in late June so that our eldest kids could have lunch together, and ride a few rides by themselves while we chatted under the shade of the carousel. We are absolutely gutted. My wife and I have been in tears for much of last evening over their sudden departure under such tragic circumstances. But now comes the hard part. We need to delicately pass along the news to our two kids. My heart goes out to her son, the only one to survive the accident. I cannot fathom the grief, and potential survivors guilt that will plague a nine year old boy after an event like that. Truly heart breaking.

I’m not much looking forward to giving my two such heavy hearts. Tact is not my strong suit. Nor is delicacy. Looking into their faces to tell them their friend, and her mum are both gone so suddenly. Ugh! They need to know right? Can’t hide it. It’s on the news, in the paper, and all over the parents Facebook groups. If we don’t break it to them someone else will. Not going to like it, but I feel it must be done. To honour our friends. To Michelle & Heidi.

Has Covid mucked with my brain?

Been doing some detail oriented work recently, and am finding lots of unusual mistakes. Stuff that I’m not seeing when in the moment I compare what I’ve done to the brief. Is it a case of myopic tunnel vision where I see what I think it should be, because of my intent to do it correctly, or is the ole brain misfiring as I miss these details even after a lengthy review? Am I rushing, absent minded, or is this a new post Covid symptom I need to keep an eye on? Challenging to say the least.

Perhaps I need to lay off the work, and come back to it for soft proofing to catch these errors. Seems like I need to add some new steps into my process to catch this stuff, and not further embarrass my self. Some food for thought. Atleast I’m not driving distracted, as of yet. A good sign of covid induced brain damage. Or I need to slow down, and go through my work letter by letter as opposed to word by word. Time to reset the proofing stage I guess. Happy Monday everybody!

Having a long think.

I am just itching to get into my shop to build some new furniture for the house or cottage. But, and here is the big “but”, I’m not certain of what else we need. I do know that storage never goes unused, but where, and in what form? If the kids no longer used their massive doll house, I could break down their art station too, and build a multi tiered sit down desk, storage unit asymmetrical to the other unit on the opposite side nearer the front of the house. We’d like to bring the antique side board up to the cottage, and just have more lower cabinets with a but her block top all along that far wall of the dining room. With shelves galore to hide all of our random crafting supplies, spill over toys, and household things. Get the dining room table cleared off so that we can eat on it once more.

Alas, both kids still use both doll houses, and the art station, and all our toy boxes ate full to overflowing. Have tried taking stuff to the cottage, but then more stuff turns up at the house, so I can never seem to get out in front of it for more than a day or two. I need a viciously ruthless clearing out in September. Garbage bags, dump trips, garage sales, give away, donations, you name it, I need all the excess “things” gone. Feels as though the walls are closing in with the accumulation of unneccesary stuff. Can only haul so much of it to the cottage as a stop gap measure.

So once we sort out what it is we want built, I can get some nicer materials. Perhaps not Walnut, but a Cherry , or something hardwood but not crazy expensive. A little nicer than pine, if I have my choice. I’m rooting the bill, so it will depend on pricing once I go wood hunting. If I can buy direct from a small time shop and get a good deal, I might try for nicer, or more exotic woods. Won’t know for sure until I commit to going and looking/buying.

I saw life jackets were on sale so I got myself a new one, one full size up. My old one is uber tight, and uncomfortable to wear. So now I won’t be so crushed when I actually get out to the lake in August. Yeah!

Happy lazy Sunday to all of you.

It’s the longest you’ve waited for a Kickstarter fulfillment, so far…

I once went in on a very expensive doll for my now oldest daughter, who was many moons away from being born, and then my second child was born two and a half years later (also a daughter) before that particular campaign was finally fulfilled. So now it sits hidden in my closet because I only have the one. Also it was expensive, and not that many comparatively were made. And if I give it to one of them now, they’ll fight over it, and likely break/lose pieces to an expensive art piece. So in my office it shall remain, boxed up, in mint condition. Untouched. And out of the sun.

I say all this because I am now two years plus, deep into waiting on nearly two hundred D&D minis from Blacklist Games, and their Lasting Tales Kickstarter from April of 2021. I have held off buying any additional mini figures to paint & base while I wait for this massive box of bits to arrive. Well, I say that. But I did buy a small jar full of 3d printed minis so that my kids could paint up some on their own on a rainy day. I took half of the jars worth, and split the other matching half between the two kids. And no, we have not painted them yet. That’s like a Nov – April kind of hobby. Same with my Resin kit. Can’t be a hermit during the summer. Fine to hide away during the winter, but not when it’s blue skies and warm out.

Some people however have not had to wait in excess of three or more years for an item to go through production, and then a prolonged distribution phase. And it shows. I get it, waiting sucks. But for many this is their first kick at the world wide mass production can, and shit gets scrambled, lines crossed, language barriers abound, and shipping prices fluctuate, as world wide pandemics hit. Fun times I imagine. I wasn’t hoping to run a big game so I’m fine to wait another six months to a year. After a while you sort of give up on it, and if it comes in you think, hope restored! Otherwise you carry on and try to do better research on who you trust with $100.00 USD. Live and learn.

Or you move over to Gamefound, or some other such private crowd source firm, and buy your games there, as they have a better track record for successful completions on new IP. Awaken Realms runs off of Gamefound, and they have been very reliable. The Nemesis game, Lock-Down, and Kings of Ruin all went off trouble free. There were more than those three but that’s all I can recall off of the top of my head. Plus their games are super well packaged for international shipping, and I’ve had to issues with my stuff. I realize my experience is anecdotal at best, but I have one more game coming from them around Christmas of this year, I think. They update us all the time, so I’m not concerned about the shipping date. I appreciate the transparency, and the community involvement in designing portions of the game/characters.

Welcome to Saturday. Week three is officially completed. Nearly halfway through summer break. Days are flying by. Crazy! Have a great weekend! Ciao Bella!

In relatable yet unrelated news the fridge is 71°F, and the freezer a block of ice.

Here we go again. Time to empty the fridge once more, defrost and drain off all of the moisture build up, towel dry clean, and start all over yet again. So. Much. Fun. Especially since the last time I drained the water line into the fridge, empty the machine of all moisture, and disabled the ice machine to avoid this all happening. I got nearly five or six months of trouble free refrigerating for my troubles. My only thought is, there is no ice build up around the door seal, so no leaks there, but it has been very, very humid, and when grocery shopping lots of items go in with condensation, and add in lots of additional air moisture, and it kicked off over the air vents. That was a long sentence. Air vents strike again. With it being freezy season that door opens several times daily, and I don’t trust that it gets shut exactly as tight as it should. Now I have to wait nearly 24 hours for it to defrost. Again, again, again, again, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know….

How is your friday going so far? Yesterday we all toddled off to the farm to pull up garlic in the blazing heat for a few hours. Oh my. So if my back aches today, we’ll all know why. Pulling up hundreds of bulbs, in a patch that contained a couple thousand. Last ditch attempt to get it all up before the few days of storms roll over top of us. All hands on deck. Thistles, thorns, mosquitoes, uneven ground, hard packed soil, and garlic. Endless rows of garlic to dig up and clean & dry off.

Now don’t get me wrong, this is a production farm, just not for the produce we are pulling. The farm runs beans & corn. Us, we do apple orchard, peach tree orchard, veggies and pumpkins, watermelons, tomatoes, peppers and onions in bulk, but not at a production scale. More of an oversized hobby farm outfit for everything other than cattle corn and soy beans. So while I play at being a farm hand, there are folks on the grounds whom making a living doing it for real. I am not one of them.

After we finished sweating in the sun for a few hours we went swimming where I was promptly stung/bitten by something right smack dab centre of my shoulder blades, which both hurt & burned like a hot poker for a number of hours. The water was lovely though. Can’t complain about that.

Yeah – so, the fridge. I have it emptied of all the important stuff, and now the freezer trays will get a rinse & wash, and the doors will sit open until all of that water comes pouring out of the bottom all over my tile floors – again. Using that word a lot today. Also the spare parts for water softener are due to arrive today between noon and four pm. So lots going on here.

Ugh. I need to cut the grass once more. Last nights rain seems to have juiced the lawn back into lushness. Hard to believe that by now, usually the grass is a yellowed pile of thatch without a roof to cover. But I’d bet the shaded parts well under the tree canopies are well over six to eight inches tall. Glad for the rain fall every few days. Keeping my fruit trees top notch this year, and far less stressed. Might even get cherries, apples, raspberries and grapes this year, if the animals don’t strip them bare first. Later. Ciao Bella.

Tying one on.

Drank beer in the full sunshine of day yesterday, for the first time in I don’t know how many years. Followed that up with a three finger pour of rye late in the evening (to empty a bottle), and not going to lie, had a bit of a spinny dream last night. Not quite nauseous, but not quite right either. Had a good time though. We had our children’s friends over to my inlaws house for a swim. Seven kids for a three plus hour swim, followed by pizza, Tim Bits, juice boxes, and in my case day beer(s).

I hope everyone elses children were more tired and less worked up than ours were. I’m sure my kids weren’t in bed asleep until 9:00pm or later. We have a razor thin line between making the kids tired, and pushing them into second wind territory full of angsty attitude, and a refusal to sleep. The line is a few scant molecules thick at best  at best I say! Like playing that rolling bowling ball over a hump game at the fair. Slightest tough too much and your evening plans are shot. I am not starting a movie – at home – after 9pm. 8:00 o’clock is last call for a full movie, unless we agree before hand to only watch half and see the rest the next day. Either way my wife will fall asleep in the opening moments anyway. Ha.

I do not miss sleeping with the spins, nor being hungover, nor being drunk for that matter. Did a whole lot of that in college, university, and while working for a number of breweries in my twenties and thirties. Drifting blissfully in the peace of my own home with an edible is about as adventurous as I’ll get nowadays. No burning my throat & nose with hot smoke. Eat it, mellow out, and have a good nights sleep. Lovely.

Today is Thursday! Late into July, almost three full weeks into the month now. Not going to be a big earnings month. Those jets cooled a fair bit come the end of June. I think all the vacation days, and not much fall planning are the cause of the slow downs. I did one small brewers entire instore retail catalogue last year, so they don’t have any products for me to update this year. The other micro brewery is probably reusing the summer/fall/winter labels we’ve made in previous years. Win some – lose some. Did have a fairly good list of sell sheets that we did this year, and the Markham Fair will pick up again soon, so a slow down might actually help now that my volunteer duties will kick back in. Plus my largest client hasn’t finalized any audits yet, and those should start coming in late August through until late November. There is always a late in the year push to complete projects. Which is great! Get those numbers up, and fill my account prior to tax time.

I have some packaging revisions to attend to today, so I’m not off entirely. I can run my kids around for a bit before I need to knuckle down and get work done. I started some edits last night, so I’m on track even if I occupy my kids early this morning. Take care all. Ciao Bella!

What is even going on here? I’m so confused…

Once again feels like I’m losing my anchor point, my reference for any given week. I need to look at a calendar to know what day of the week it is, and also what the numerical date is too.

The 19th!?! Seriously. Wowzers. This month is zooming Bruv! Faaaaaaaaacts! Bet. Picking up speed as we near the middle of week three for Summer Break 2023. Almost nearing the halfway point, which is wild. We have undertaken quite a few day trips to keep things interesting. My wife has lead the bulk of those trips as I’m still working on paid projects. But I have joined in on one or two here and there. I had to give the bulk of the Zoo trips a miss. Which is a shame, I enjoy the Zoo mobile, and going for an aimless wander under the cover of tall trees.

Swimming lessons begin anew on Monday of this coming week, so we’ll have that to occupy the kids for 30-60 minutes each morning for around three weeks or so. I am supposed to have family fly into town next weekend, but I’m waiting to hear if that is still a go due to the fainting/passing out during a parachute jump which resulted in a limp body tree canopy landing forty or so feet in the air. Glad he was still able to pull the chute and not plummet like a lead weight straight into the ground, dive bomb style. Last I heard he was still in the cardiac unit undergoing tests, and waiting on more information.

So yeah – feeling adrift in the hot days of summer. When there is little to no differentiation between week day and weekend I start to feel unmoored. As much as I feel restricted by a schedule, they help to keep me oriented in any given week. No wonder my kids flail about once September rolls around as we go from free floating hippies to rigidly controlled ushering them from activity to activity, where once we rested and did whatever. Looks like two to three weeks of tantrums and freak outs until they get onboard with the new program. Whee! Such fun. Next year will be even worse, as my wife will be returning to work once more after her year long sabbatical, so I’ll have three testy ladies upset about their return to school. But that’s late 2024 me’s problem. My thing today is locating long sleeved bathing suits for the kids, and a promised trip to a book store for new reading material for my eldest. We will get them to read for fun this summer! I can feel it in my bones. Even the youngest one. Ciao Bella.

Taking the day for family appointments.

Spending the day doing family oriented errands, appointments and such. Wishing my oldest brother well after a heart episode during a parachute jump the other day. Blood proteins indicate a possible heart attack, but searching for potential blockages or other factors besides the adrenaline pump from freefall that might have caused the episode. Wishing him well on a speedy recovery. Otherwise – peace out folks.