We’re only human after all.

Six days in and I’m finally starting to feel a little more like myself. Still have the register of Barry White when I talk, and fluctuate between stuffed up and Oh God, Eew! With an occasional cough. So not totally out of the woods yet, but – still negative. So, we have that going for us, I suppose.

I had some work to do yesterday, most of which I did, while my head was swimming in cold & flu medications. Nothing major though, and I left a good chunk for today just to give me a chance to plan it all out so that my foggy mush brain didn’t cock it all up. So far, so good.

Kids were all on the up & up yesterday after five days off school recuperating. This bug hit us all in fun and exciting ways. No two completely alike! Fun fact, I can’t distinguish between eaten tomatoes and watermelon in a puddle of vomit. Suspiciously alike in many ways. Ask me how I know! Go ahead do it.

Views here have tanked, obviously. No one wants to read about me whining of being sick. But I’m not mentally in a place capable of plotting some of the most important chapters/installments of my short story series. This brain fogs gotta go. DayQuil and NyQuil , whilst excellent for treating symptoms, make me spacey AF. So a delay is in order. Hopefully you’ll check back in once they start up again.

I need a shower and a nap.

Seventy three feet below the surface,

And i’m beginning to feel a lot like Hans Moleman. Short, shrivelled, thick coke bottle glasses and desperately in need of a kick to the balls to remain relevant in today’s media environment. Or was it a football to the testes that garnered him the win during the short film contest? It’s been so long that I forget. A lone “Ha-ha!” Booms out from the distance, as Nelson Mandela Muntz skitters back into obscurity behind a dumpster somewhere.

Yeah, so…. busy week I guess. A long feeling short week coming off the holiday Monday. Looks like Ukraine has a shit tonne of bad to look towards for the foreseeable future. That’s just going to be a horrific mess no matter what. You know what, I don’t really know enough to make any real qualitative statements, so I’ll just leave it alone, from a policy, or action view point. Just to say, I feel for Ukraine and its people. I hope they prevail, and that most of their people make it out the otherside alive and well. But, God-Damn!, what a mess.

Looking like white out conditions here. The starting temperature was minus twelve, plus whatever the wind chill factor is because she’s a tad blowy out there fellas. It’s fucken WIMDY, as the memes would say. Sad wind blown fox on a field of white .jpeg – as it were. It usually doesn’t snow once the degrees drop that low, but again, not a meteorologist. Studied weather, climate and ecology a little in university, just enough to be a useful idiot I suppose. I had a broad but shallow base to my post secondary education, excluding the Print & Web Graphic Design stuff. That was laser focused and very intensive. But that was from two separate Art Schools and not the University I attended as well, so – Nyah!

The last couple weeks have been busy with work, so my brain hasn’t occupied the creative writing space in a number of days. Next week won’t be any better in that front as I have the first of three big spring reports coming, and those will soak up some serious brain power, focus and wrist strength. Although, you know I’ll say that, and then will desperately need a break from it all and will write something. So who knows any more. I don’t think this second book will reach sixty thousand words, but if I hit forty thousand then cumulatively I’ll have done 100,000 which is like a short-ish full sized novel. Which is cool.

Strike that from the bucket list. Check! Just need to write and record at least one song, produce a comic book of 32-64 pages in length, and I will have a good chunk of my childhood dream projects completed. I’m a working artist, I own my own business, I sculpt reasonably well, I have made tables and wood working projects. Went to art school, but also did Soc & Business in university, traveled across Europe, got married, have kids, had a lovely old fat dopey mutt (until he passed away at 12 yrs old) and have worked on major campaigns for multiple big breweries, and have helped launch smaller micro breweries too. Do I wish we were rich beyond measure, sure, but we’re also not doing too badly either. Working for myself affords me the time to be with my kids, instead of leaving the house at 6:00am and getting home after 8:00pm, and being a grumpy shit. I do school drop offs and pick ups, I’m here for sick days and appointments. I fix lunches and breakfasts. I brush teeth and hair. I can do bath times and bed time stories. It’s rather lovely when you compare it to my days before kids.

The last Thursday in February.

It holds no special meaning beyond its proximity to March, and thus March Break and the foretold lead in to spring. The winds are bitter and cold, but carry slightly more moisture than weeks passed. And are therefore more biting, and cut deeper toward the bone. A listless jab to the body on the way out for another year.

Almost two months down into the new year, and once again the threat of war looms low over the headd of Eastern Europeans, and eventually the world. Let us not forget that West Taiwan wants to attack Taiwan proper for similar land grab and control reasons. Colonialism at its worst, and therefore also its finest. Because that’s what the machine does best, slow roll over everything and everyone in order to enrich itself and crush that which stands in the way of ever increasing expansion, and the industries created to maintain it. Weee! Splat.

Perhaps the sanctions will be enough to send the incursion packing after they’ve done a few days of random, yet targeted shelling in Ukraine’s “contested” territories. I used quotes here as the only one contesting it is Putin, and his Colonial over reach across borders. Eating up another country bite by bite, like he did with Crimea. Carving up a smaller neighbour for the sake of expanding a border and reclaiming some semblance of the USSR’s control over the region. Talk about boomer energy. That’s some rose coloured, nostalgia heavy talk of returning to the past. But with heavy casualties, death and dismemberment.

On a lighter note, who wants icecream? Hard to make a segue into any topic after talk of war in Europe. But I tried, an attempt was made. So – big picture talk here. What to do with the house come Spring & Summer? I think i want to tackle the screen door again. Build one from scratch. The basement needs to get more reasonable air flow. I also invested in a bigger and better table saw late last year, and think i can do a much better job of it now, that how i did it before. Still going to be a challenge, but i think i can get it done this year! I’d also like to challenge myself to build either a table or a chair this year too. Just one chair, not a set. That sounds tedious to me. One off items are way more exciting to produce, as far as I’m concerned. Spring will also bring a new round of heavy cleaning, decluttering and a broken toy purge. Have tackled the girls closets for ill fitting clothes. Bigger kids stuff if not ruined goes to the youngest when she’s big enough for it, and clothes from older cousins & friends filter back into the older ones closet in a seemingly endless cycle. Glad for it too. Besides pant legs much of this stuff doesn’t see enough action under one kid to go into a landfill. What we don’t use/need goes to other family members in the surrounding area. I’d love to do one in one out, but sometimes that’s not the case. Swim suits get destroyed by the sun and chlorine and heavy use, so we couldn’t donate as many of those as we actually use. If you swim two or three times a day, as is the case with us during the summer, then they (swimsuits) disintegrate pretty rapidly. Girls get duck bum, as the elastic goes in the rear and a saggy duck tail appears in the fabric as it settles. Straps wear out, and whole thing sags, and then it’s just trashed after several months. Wouldn’t want to give that mess to someone else, that’s just rude.

Will need to look at my mower again this spring, see if I can convince the old girl to give me a sixteenth cutting season! Wash and clean the filters, new oil, blades sharpened, clean the spark plug, oil it up and hope for the best. Bought it in January of 2006, and has started by the second/third pull every single year since then. Doesn’t owe me much, but I’d be thankful if it kept going a few more years yet.

A taste of earlier today in this dad’s life. Sorting out laundry loads five and six. Which was the last scraps of the kids stuff, and my wife’s clothes. Then sorting out all the one off socks we seem to have accumulated. Stacks upon stacks of singular socks. Now I don’t know if the opposites have been lost, left behind places, developed holes and were thrown away, eaten or sacrificed to the washer and dryer, but I know this. One day I will go and buy bags upon bags of plain black and white socks, that fit my wife and daughters, and then I will never sort another sock again. You get 2 lbs of B&W socks, so do you and you too. I don’t want to pair, fold, stash another sock after that happens. Theme socks seem like such a good idea until no one can keep them together to get washed at the same time, or sorted and paired again after wearing them. I’ll wager good money a fair few socks are under beds throughout the house.

Bit of a late start today.

Needed to get some Photoshop work done first thing, and then I started to build out a template for a new report that is coming at some point in the next week. Could be a long one, so best to get as much ready up front before the deadline begins to loom over me, and I feel the weight of it on my shoulders until I’m done my first full draft. Gathering photo materials is kind of a fun task at first, and then it can spiral out of control pretty quickly. Have to make a conscious effort not to pull photos from the wrong countries too. That is a sticking point I find later on, as I’m not always up to date on all of the products on offer by various brand names or multi national corporations. But they know, and they’ll tell me I’m sure.

Even when I worked at a major brewery, it was easy to forget which location had which sku’s associated with all of your brands and/or partner brands. If I recall I made myself a massive heart to keep track of it, but partners would come onboard or drop out so often that I had it covered with sticky notes until it was more of an eye sore than a helpful visual aid.

So Day 71 eh? Well now, look at you, reading along with me, awesome. My kids have hit school day number one hundred today, so there’s that. They did some fun stuff to commemorate that feat, or so I’ve been told. So more than halfway through the school year, which means that spring and summer are screaming towards us at a break neck pace. Yeah! I wonder if Covid will be beaten back enough for summer camps this year? I’d like to have some kid free time to work on stuff around the house. Hell, I’d like to have a kid free evening so my wife and I could go eat or hit the driving range by ourselves for an hour or two. Did I mention I bought a used set of clubs and bag for forty dollars the other day? Oh, I’m so excited! It had the few clubs I wanted and use most. Putter, drivers, a nine iron and a couple other clubs too. I’m like a par three course kind of golfer. Mainly because I only really play once every decade or so. Ha! But I’ll be sure to go to the driving range now! Or at least I’ll hope to go, whether I do or not remains to be seen.

I need to grab some water softener salt, so I’m going out into the cold again. TTYS

Nobody loves you when you’re sixty seven. Or so I’ve been told.

Many times by the people I’m related to. Just because you get let go from your job for sleeping with an underage patient. That’s the last time I’ll work at that horse orphanage.

In other news, more sunshine in today’s forecast! It has to be some kind of personal bias that I’m just seeing so much sunshine in February where I would usually associate the month with grey, drab, dreary clouds and a sense of desperation, creeping towards out right depression. But nope! Sun, warm sunny sunshine, more often than not (this year). Later sunsets and lots of chilly blue sky.

Saturday of a long weekend. It used to be that we had more options than time in the day to do all that we wanted. So obviously I finally have skates of my own now, and the rinks are shut, and a warm front is moving in later on today. That is ok. I bought my skates for the long haul, not just for this season. Now I can go skate with the kids whenever, year over year, along as we have suitable ice and the desire to go skate. If I had my way, I’d love to go back to cross country skiing and downhill skiing. Both I haven’t been fortunate enough to do in a number of years. Also, sneak this in here too, as far as ‘sporting equipment’ is concerned, I’d also like to get a modest set of golf clubs too. I had a fantastic morning golfing with my brothers last summer, on what ended up being the hottest day of the year, in August. It was a hoot! So sweaty though, oh lord above it was grotesque! I could have wrung out my socks it was so damn hot. It was in the early forties Celcius. Oof! I imagine the peripheral presence of the winter Olympics has given me the bug to go back outdoors to ski and/or skate. I can cross country ski at the farm, so that would be the cheaper option. No lift tickets or seasons passes required. Which would save me a non trivial amount of money, after the purchase of skis, poles, boots and bindings for either version.

So, that last chapter of the series huh? It came across that she was only having a nightmare right? It had to feel visceral, but not linger on being some kind of torture/rape fetish porn. I tried to intercut with the actual medical team to blunt the horrors that Mimi was dreaming through. Not sure if it was as successful as I had hoped. But on the upside, I don’t think we’ll have any more dream sequences of a sexual nature. There was one other violently sexual story, early on in book one, and that ended in brutal retribution. So not a common theme, or exploration in my writing, thankfully.

Isolation, depression, desperation: these are themes I follow more closely. I tagged the story with a trigger warning, so I hope that stopped anyone from stumbling across this chapter that was upsetting, unbeknownst to any new comers. That’s not how a typical short of mine plays out. However, more horror elements are coming, plus scenes of space battles, and people will die, so that’s par for the course, not so much the sexual violence.

And on the sixty fifth day, He said, Oh – Lord, I have finished reading the last book in the series, and was at once, both elated, and forlorn.

For it was a good series, of both length and depth, but now it is over, and where there used to stand a long winding road full of opportunities there is now only the hard cold truth of the back cover, closed and defined. Like a stone rolled over the door to seal in the freshness. I am sad. I do however have a new book to read, a part of another series I enjoy, plus next month John Scalzi’s new book will drop and I’ll likely enjoy that one too.

I wasn’t going to talk about books, I had something else on my mind which I was gearing up for today, but now that the power has been out since 2:00am, school is cancelled, it’s going to rain like cats and dogs all day, I had to change gear. I imagine power will be back some time between 9:00am and 12:00pm, so it won’t be an entirely lost work day, but with the kiddos home it’ll be a wash. No tv, no microwave, no toaster or fridge, no dvd player, and no furnace. Could potentially be a trying day for us. Oh joy.

Happy I managed to get through so much work on Monday through Wednesday. Could have been a disaster if I’d left it until later in the week.

Now that I think on it, I can’t recall – at all, what I was going to lead with today. Not even a scintilla of an idea of what it was. I know that yesterday afternoon I thought it was funny. But it totally escapes me now.

Oh, to be fair I was reading the Expanse book series, if anyone wanted to know. Book nine finished it all off. Although I did see that they have collected some peripheral short stories from the universe into a book, so perhaps we’re not quite done yet. We’ll see. I liked how it came together, so maybe I’ll leave well enough alone? Or not. I don’t have any other science fiction series that I have been following along with besides Matha Wells’ Murder Bot Diaries (which is also fantastic) oh and Mary Robinette Kowals alternate history A Lady Astronaut Novel series.

I have done some considerable thinking about my next few chapters. Was planning to write one today, but – kids home all day due to inclement weather. Stay tuned, things should get interesting!

You want me to do WHAT? In this gig-economy!

You’re off your tits mate. And other such fun snippets of dialogue I either overhear at the school drop off, or television, movies and think. Ha. That gives me an idea. But not so much today.

It’s Thursday, my dudes. Not quite the weekend but it can be seen and felt from here. Although with working from home, and for myself, it all rather feels the same. Well, maybe now that my wife and kids are back to school (for however long that manages to last) the weekends will feel a slight twinge of otherness to them, with the house full from sun up to sun down.

In other news Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, followed closely by a week or so is Family Day, then we have March break, and the slow drag into springtime! Yay! Which is a lovely thought, but we have six weeks of horrible sub zero temperatures, snow, ice, freezing rain and slush to wade through first. Can 8 just say this though. I’ve enjoyed all of the blue sky sunnies days we’ve been having. It’s really something wonderful to be cold and yet have that gorgeous open blue sky overhead. What little heat we can feel on our faces directly from the sun is welcomed with open arms.

Rather than doing a grocery pick up like usual, or a delivery; I actually went inside a store yesterday. For the first time in a number of weeks. Good and empty, given our current pickle (pandemic obvs’) to grab a bunch of ready made meals for my wife to have at work. When it’s quiet, and no one else is around and you forget you have a mask on, it can almost feel normal-ish. I can’t recall the last time I took my kids to wander around a mall to just look at what’s new, visit a play place, or have lunch out together. I think we’d have still been using a stroller and rear facing car seat for my youngest the last time I did that.

That’s what stings right now. I was looking forward to taking my kids out of school surreptitiously to go to the mall and have an afternoon together and do something fun. But I don’t want to add even a scintilla of additional exposure over and above what they all ready face. In the years to come, I hope to be able to resurrect that mental health day time together. I miss that time doing something fun one on one with either of my kids. Lego land, Square One, The Bass Pro Shop, a Massive Disney Store, or Toys R Us. I used to love just going for a walk around, while the weather outside was horrendously cold. Get some excercise, mock youth fashion trends, because I’m older now, and I’m keen on my late nineties/early two thousands fashion choices that I made that suited my body type and wallet.

Trust in me – just in me… where’s my copy of The Jungle Book!

Also – the gig economy sucks balls. I don’t want to HAVE to turn every hobby into cash flow, that’s just part time work, on top of your day job. That’s no way to live. I get the Type A’s who are physically incapable of resting might be drawn to that option, but you have to have down time to recharge. You’ll burn yourself out. For what an extra couple of bucks, but no time to read, draw, paint, sew, play an instrument or relax. I get that wages sort of suck, and have done for ages, but that type of self deprivation isn’t sustainable in the long term. I hope you can find a happy medium. Or strike it rich! Or discover a wealthy patron who will fund you in the event of their death.

Three days in, how are you doing?

We are three days into 2022 and how do you all feel? I didn’t make any resolutions this year, much like I haven’t done the last three years or so. I have things I want to do more of, which are things that I all ready do ‘some’ of. I will do what I can to utilize my down time more constructively over the year. Now this doesn’t mean that every single second needs to be accounted for, or that I must produce X amount of projects or progress in any single hobby. Just that over all, I did more of just about anything; cooking, cleaning, mending clothes, wood working, home DIY stuff, sculpting, drawing, painting, playing the guitar or piano, creative writing, blogging. Anything, just try to limit being a lump.

Also, if at all possible, refrain from going out and picking up a new pet from a shelter. It has been eight months since our old boy passed over the rainbow bridge to take up residence at the farm, in a room with a view. I love dogs and having one around the house, but it has made life simpler to not have one around during the pandemic. Puppies and old dogs and just about everything in between are very appealing, but I just need to hold off for another year or two. I can easily break on this issue depending on how the school year in Ontario shapes up with covid and Omicron lurking about. However, not having to pick up bags and bags of poop off the back lawn means the girls can play barefoot in the grass again without fear of a nasty squishy surprise. But a warm dog cuddle does a weary soul some good when you didn’t know you needed it most.

It is currently warming up from minus seventeen degrees Celsius, so perhaps a play at the park is in order, or a jaunt to the farm for some private sledding with my girls. Snow pants are a must here, there is no denying it anymore. Winter is far too long and cruel to the skin here to not properly outfit yourself for the bitter cold. We are nowhere near as bad as the prairies, but getting down to minus twenty five or below consistently over a course of three months means you need to be realistic, and dress accordingly. Take care of yourselves out there.

Welcome to the future…

It’s really very similar to the recent past but otherwise it offers you hope, if only a sliver. The weather outside is pretty strange, seeing as the temperature is slightly positive in January, in southern Ontario Canada. The roads are clear enough we can ride our bikes or roller blade, which is very strange. The snow seems to hold off longer and longer, if it doesn’t absolutely dump down on November first in a 12 inch blast of school closing insanity.

We were all in bed asleep by quarter to eleven last night, because we have small kids who wake up exceedingly early, and can be a real bear to deal with by seven pm. After getting them off to bed and watching an hour or two of HGTV no one felt the need to greet midnight, and a potential 5:45am early rise from one or both kids. I was going to pour myself a drink and watch a movie, but my enthusiasm for that waned quickly and I watched part of a Jim Gaffigan stand up special on Netflix, but turned it off half way through instead. The life of a rock star over here folks.

Things I’d like to do more of this year are, and in no particular order; creative writing, sculpting, wood working, miniature painting, assemble the giant G-System Best resin model kit. Obviously if I am able to gather, retain or reclaim more paid work in graphic design/illustration & packaging, those items will take precedence. But I have made a plan to utilize my down time to be more rewarding personally. It gets all too easy to climb into YouTube or put on a movie and space out for 2hrs on any given day.

First things first though, we have to get COVID-19 under a modicum of control so that our kids don’t get violently ill at school, or develope life long medical issues due to rampant exposure. This fact alone will have massive knock on effects for our day jobs, and hobbies, not to mention the whole rest of our childrens lives. It is no small matter. It weighs heavily upon us all. Welcome to the future, the same as before, only different. Hello 2022.