Last night my oldest fell (for a silly reason I won’t mention to avoid further embarrassment) and cut herself fairly badly on a tin can from our recycling. What saddened me was she was so afraid I’d be mad that she hid the actual scalloped wound and only showed me this very minor scrape on the outside of her shoulder. But as she became very pale, I asked her to go lie down, and if she needed a bucket, because she is prone to vomiting at blood/pain. This should have been my first clue to stop and really examine her. But I asked and asked “are you ok?” And didn’t pry or really focus. Her ashen face really should have twigged my senses and I dropped that ball, badly. It wasn’t until later at night when she wanted to replace a bandaid for bed, which she had secretly put on earlier, that my wife and I saw the true extent of her real injury. A 2.5 inch long gash, nah! Scalloped divot cut out of her arm pit (or near enough) that was still bleeding 2 hrs in. We dabbed it, and added Polysporin, and applied a larger sterile pad, and sent her to bed. But it bothered me that she was more afraid we’d be mad, than seek help for what very nearly could have been a horrific injury. Had it of gotten into her actual armpit, hit a lymph node, or worse an artery, she’d have hidden it and bled out before we knew enough to apply a tourniquet which I have in the house for lacerations! I was terribly angry at myself, one; for the cut lids being up on the cans I’d opened that day, and two; my child being afraid I’d be mad about a little mess on the floor rather than being concerned for her well being. I realize I harp on at them for making messes, and their lackadaisical cleaning efforts, but I’d hoped they knew I loved them more than I care about a clean kitchen floor.
Seems I have some revaluation of my demeanor to look into. I say “I love you”, lots, but do I show it enough? I realize I’m not terribly sympathetic. Usually it’s a result of people hurting themselves by doing exactly what I have asked them not to, in order to avoid injury. So… I should work on that. By being more sympathetic, and having greater empathy for little kids trying to learn by doing. Gotta make those mistakes to learn the hard lessons I guess. I wanted to shield them from all that pain, but they do it anyway, much to my annoyance. So there. Yes. It’s all me. I definitely need to work on that. Seek out to comfort first, before being annoyed or upset. Leave the lecture for after we’ve all been patched up and looked after. Sounds reasonable. What a way to learn that lesson for myself. Yikes. I feel terrible about it. I’m writing it down, so it won’t soon be forgotten. Cheese. Huh.
Yeah – so welcome to Thursday. Talent show today. Hope that goes ok, as we’ve got more rain and storms coming. Not to mention my daughters injury to contend with for her act. I need to go edit some photography, and look over my daughters book report. Take care. Feel free to be introspective today too. Ciao Bella!
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