What does forty three (43) days mean to you.

I’ll tell you what it means to me. A flat plateau, and a bit of a slog. Feeling as though I’m treading water and gaining no new ground. However, on the upside, if there is one and I can call it that. There is a certain satisfaction in following along with the process and maintaining discipline. It’s not much, but it’s honest work. There was never any guarantee that a spark would ignite everyday. Just the knowledge that making the time, sitting down and doing the thing, eventually, something would come of it. Could be that I’m passed the creative hump, and I just need to wrap it up in another six chapters or so. Could be I’ll find myself thirty five hundred words into a chapter and think, oh this needs more context, this needs to be explored. Or I’ll wrap it all up an a bow, spring will arrive and I can work outdoors again. It could be that I have a fantastic supply of paid work and I am devoting more brain power to my business than I did at the tail end of December, and I’m not at peak, rested, creative writing performance. Could be I’ll hear a funny comment and that’ll take me off on a tangent. Maybe I just wanted to bitch and whine, then carry on as before. I can be fickle, so that’s why pushing along with the process is so important. Without it, I can flounder and then spend hours following YouTube rabbit holes. Life is weird that way.

On a typical day, I need to get my kids sorted for school: breakfast, lunches made, hair & teeth. Set out clothes for the youngest. Get their outdoor gear ready by the door. Drop them off and run errands. Then once I’m home I can check emails for priority clients, work, or sit down to my own breakfast and have a think. That would be when I bust out the trusty phone and clickety clack my way through a blog post, thought, joke or retelling of something that’s happened, or ruminate on what’s to come for my short story series. Then I’ll take some time for laundry, cleaning up, dishes and vacuuming, or scrubbing bathrooms and sinks. Then check emails again, if I’ve missed any notifications, and carry on.

I’m not writing an epic fantasy novel, so setting aside ten to fifteen minutes to publish something isn’t that big a deal. I try not to judge my work against others, but that’s really fucking hard to do. But I write for me, even if I do chase those view statistics some days.

Do any of you have a process you’d feel comfortable sharing? I should also note – as I have said previously; I write on my phone because sitting at my office chair is where I do my paid day job, and I want to be able to walk around, talk aloud, act things out as I go (if need be) rather than be perched at my desk longer than I have to be. Trying very hard not to get an RSI on my right wrist ever again. It sounded like twisting a leather glove when my tendons got inflamed. Oh that hurts, just thinking about it. Couldn’t rotate my right wrist & radius it hurt so bad. But I digress.

I hurt myself yesterday

Trying to clear a path for my kids to toboggan down a really good hill at our family farm property. Caught a ski and flipped onto my elbow/shoulder like a forty something out of shape idiot, and now have a sore arm/elbow/shoulder. What’s worse is that I feel guilty for sending my kids back to in person learning. Ugh. It’s been really hard to sleep and it weighs heavy on my mind, all day, every day. No bruising as of yet from my physical fall. Probably won’t be any. Takes a fair amount to make me bruise up. Not as much to make me feel guilty.

Day 41, and what have we learned? Still not very eloquent or graceful with the written word. Feeling less concerned about the quality or quantity of my writing. At this point I’m aiming to have chapters done, not perfect, but a chunk at a time finished and uploaded for all to see. It can be an adrenaline rush once I get on a roll and I can see just over the horizon for something unexpected coming my way. I have a ways to go yet to wrap things up. I won’t give a quantitative answer to chapter count, but I know quality wise where I’d like to hit, and how I think I might wrap the story up in a nice little bow. I believe I had twenty two chapters for the first book, plus various one off shorts, and book two already has a few one offs written and compiled along with the twelve chapters I’ve written for book two.

I wonder if I’ll try to do something similar in another universe or if I’ll keep coming back to this well repeatedly. All the best to you for 2022! Keep on writing and sharing!

Lazy Saturday in mid January.

With nothing much going on except for some story beats percolating in the back of my mind. And a fairly simple question to answer. Do I want to do a dialogue heavy chapter with a little bit of detail, or recount the scene as though it was historical fact via a third impartial party? That is my question.

Both options offer me a unique way to hit on some story points with more emphasis. It’s a good place to be stuck in, I’d rather be spoilt for choice than drawing a total blank. I could do it over two chapters and show the divide between what actually happens, and how history interprets what went on by the evidence that they can find and piece together. Hard choice to make.

Also I’m a big fan of switching up how chapters are told, which is why I like the short/micro story format. If I had to write it all from one point of view I’d likely cock that up something awful. I can be passive, first person, third person or an objective witness as I see fit. I am amazed at people who can write 250,000 word epic worlds teaming with characters and animals, machines and vast world building. Sounds like a tonne of fun, but also – so much work.

As a side note, which is off topic: my kids are in love with this Youtube character named Sammie (who looks like a modified pink & purple butt plug) whose human counter part does arts and crafts. And in that vein I have sculpted two plug like pink/purple/sparkly Super Sculpey Sammies with glued in eyes and sculpted lenseless glasses. My oven burned the rear side of the sculpey which annoyed me as I didn’t want to have to paint anything other than the sculpted glasses. So yeah! Two sculpting projects down for 2022! Small win for me creatively.

How attached to your written characters are you?

As far as I am concerned 99% of my characters are expendable, in as brutal or mundane a fashion as possible. I like to build something up only to fizzle in an unexpected manner, or for the pay off for the characters actions to be as empty as they tend to be in real life. We know the feeling. Same some bridezilla’s get after a year or two of planning a wedding, or a kid building up Christmas morning, only for it to come as this fleeting whisper of what you’d built up in your head, and then it’s done, and you are right back where you were, only now, your every waking moment isn’t spent pouring over details of this supposed magical day, and you feel a little empty or lost without the goal you’ve focused on so hard.

Then there are the 1% of characters who practically write themselves. They lead the story into unexpected territory, and can really turn one of my surface level short stories into something more compelling and create interesting problems to solve.

For those select few of you whom have read a couple of my interconnected shorts will know I don’t write my characters very deeply, they talk and do stuff, but their appearance is left fairly unremarked upon unless I feel there is a trait that sets them apart that will come up, or makes a point in the story. I’m not a “she breasted boobily” down the stairs kind of a writer, if that makes sense. Sure some characters have intercourse, but that’s not the point. Many are straight, lesbian, gay or androgynous or other, and I want them to be people, not their personal orientation.

To me they are just “folks”, they live, breathe, eat, defecate and work. They get irritated by one another and get snarky or playful as they see fit. If someone is going to affect a lisp or mumble it’ll be because they have a broken jaw, or were punched in the face. Not that I don’t operate with cliches or generalities, these are micro shorts so I need an explanatory short hand to fill in the blanks.

But, yeah… I like to kill them off. Or at least render their best laid plans moot wherever possible. I think that’s funny. Even my best laid plans fall apart at the hands of some one elses illogical choices, feelings and actions, so why wouldn’t that fate befall my characters too. These aren’t military disciplined combat troops, most are working class trades people silo’d into their own small social circles, or are corporate stooges looking to increase their bank accounts or prestige levels with little regard for those around them. Why would they do anything more than surface level planning for the pawns in their own games. Exit strategy? Not likely. Poisoned drink, or a bullet in the chest more like it.

Are you lot precious with your characters? Do you put them through hell or do you hold back on some? Are they fit for the meat grinder, or a mild annoyance?

“Hey Marko! What the fuck bud, you too good to answer your pages now?”

Sneers the greasy looking mechanic in rumpled red coveralls. He’s used an over ride key card on the crew quarters door. The grey green lump of human that is currently out cold on the raised bed doesn’t stir, at all. In fact the body is so still it doesn’t even appear to be breathing, let alone functional enough to answer a page and report in for his duty rotation. Stepping across the threshold of the most spacious single occupancy room the mechanic has ever seen. Large though it may be, since it is kept sparse and unadorned it comes across as positively massive. Standing in the center of the room, the bisected doors begin to close. The change in cabin pressure from the hall and the closing door wafts the rancid smell of rotten meat, body odor and foul breath right to the mechanics nostrils. It clings to the soft palette and inside of the nose like an oily scented film. The greasy lank haired mechanic gags on the stench. Looking closely at the ghost on the bed he can see clumps of dead skin gathered in ragged lumps on the man’s pale dirty feet. He looks like he hasn’t bathed in months. He smells like he’s been sleeping in his own filth and waste for a year straight. With a ear splitting peel the greasy mechanics wrist rings again to remind him he has to get the ghost named Mark, up and ready for his next rotation in the next few hours. He flicks off the notification on his wrist communicator and finds the lighting panel for the room. With hesitation he begins to poke around getting the bathing unit ready for the nearly dead ghost. Walking around the side of the raised bed he leans against the lower desk, and pulls out a couple of drawers to stand on, as no step stool can be seen inside the room. As his line of sight comes parallel to the comatose man, he can see that he appears to have been unceremoniously deposited onto the bed with little thought given to comfort or his own safety. Limbs akimbo, neck turned harshly to his left, looking in towards the padded wall and away from the door. If his wrist biometrics unit wasn’t flashing green, you’d easily assume he was dead. The beige uniform is strained, torn and falling apart at the seams. “Dude, what the fuck were you up to? You smell like shit buddy boy. If you’re here with me at all, I’m just gonna pull you down from your bed and strip you down to your skivvies. God I hope you guys wear skivvies. Then I’m going to run you through two or three wash cycles to clean you up. I have an Omega level code orange on you my man. If it were up to me I’d leave you in the sick bay, or a med pod for the next month, but those orange fucks don’t play that way, you get me? Huh? Shit… I’d swear you were dead… umph! Jesus, heavy too.” With a lot of writhing, wriggling and unflattering pulls using leverage the mechanic drops the ghost named Mark to the hard metal floor. He turns the puddle of man and clothes about looking for a safety pull cord that should be poking out from under a stitched patch. Locating it to the rear behind Mark’s left armpit, he rips off the patch to expose the yellow triangular handle. Grabbing it firmly he pulls the twelve feet of molecular fiber cord out of the uniform coveralls and it falls apart along the seam lines. The smell that erupts out of the split clothing is horrendous. The body is covered with pustules, open pressure sores and deep tissue rashes. His skin dyed black with rot from faeces build up that the suit was unable to filter or remove via catheter. “They’ve done a real number on you bud. Come on, this might sting a little, sorry to drag you around your room like this.” Pulling the dead weight of the unconscious man from a pile of his tangle of limbs to orient him for bathing in the shower cubicle. “If you’re alive in there, listen, I’m going to key in an antiseptic scrub, wash and rinse cycle as well, for after the wash. It’s gonna hurt like a Son of a bitch, but you look as though you need it. The orange mafia don’t care to smell anything less than perfumed roses when you have a debrief. You can thank me later. Maybe a shot of adrenaline when the cycles are complete will help you out eh? Why not. It’s on the house uh! Company money, well spent I’d say.” Clicking away on the control board outside the showers the mechanic types in the resource codes he was given, triple checking against his wrist communicator to be sure. He presses the initiate button and walks out of the room.

A opaque cream coloured bag expands out of a hole in the wall, the naked man is enveloped within it soundlessly. A viscous pink gel floods the bag from multiple directions. A soft glop and slurp can be heard, muffled by the membrane. The sticky goo oozes over the man pulling sixty days worth of dead skin, waste and dirt along with it, to be filtered and pushed back through again. Cleaning every surface as it goes. As the gooey mass get sucked from the ghosts nasal cavity he gulps in a deep and startled breath. He twitches and shakes as he comes to. With the pinch of a syringe to the base of his neck his eyes pop open as adrenaline floods his veins. He pushes backwards frantically as though trying to hide inside the wall. His heels crack the tile lining the floor, his finger nails push off his cuticle with the strain of his panic. He can not remember why he is so afraid, it’s like a blood memory buried deep within his bones. “I’ve seen a god, and it was not benevolent.” He whispers weakly from cracked lips into the empty room, a small trickle of blood from his ruined fingers dribbles down the drain in the center of the wash cubicle.

Part Ten: Ghost of the Dirty Starling.

Anatomy of a scene.

It came to me yesterday almost exactly how it played out in real life beat for beat. I followed my FIL to his shop in an open side by side in minus twenty six degree Celsius weather, to go and get the Bobcat. The seat was ice cold, the controls were frigid to the touch, and the engine struggled to start without the engine block heater having run, or the prime pump heater turning on. As I was wiping down the front window to be able to see through it from inside the dark shop. Frost was building up on the inside of the glass as I sat there breathing in the bitterly cold air. I thought, this is a good experience to capture as is, and show some of the hardship and grit the black ops folks go through living in perpetual darkness and cold out by Pluto. The rodent issue was a real problem for us when we renovated our house several years ago. You rush around working focusing on big stuff, only to later take a closer look and start to see signs of the pests along the edges of base boards and under objects you haven’t moved in a while.

That is the sort of day dream, lived experience I need in order to write something that feels worth while. Since I’m no rocket buff, and don’t follow math and such, I try to focus my science-fiction on the people involved rather than the actual science of living and working, and fighting in outer space.

That’s a little insight into my writing and let us say “research” for any given chapter in my interconnected series. Thanks for following along.

Here’s a blue sky for you.

Have some thinking to do on the story front today, and possibly tomorrow. I managed to tie three threads together loosely, and now I need to get into some action set pieces and corporate intrigue. Both of which require a fair amount of prior planning on my part. For fight sequences I usually break out some action figures to try to keep track of where characters are in relation to one another. If I had the time and resources I’d build a miniature set and act it out in cardboard and plastic and talk it aloud into a tape recorder to transcribe/edit later. But as it stands I just smash toys together or put objects on a table top to help myself out a bit. The cup has lune of sight on the fork, while the spoon spins downward in a tight spiral. Blah, blah blah.

As I was saying, lots to think about so here is a lovely blue sky image. Take good care of yourselves – or not. Up to you where applicable.

Time.

What is time. What has time to do with me. I’ve slept adrift in the blank depths of the cosmos. Time has no meaning here. I sense in the far reaches of my being that at one point time was everything. Now it is nothing. What is time to the dead and crumbling. The passing of dust into matter back to dust once more. On and on at scales so grand and so minute as to be virtually meaningless to me – to me or to us. Am I me or are we us now. I was man, then dead, now reborn as an other. A collective – a hive mind? No, still singular but fractured. As though the dust motes falling from my body retained the essence of me and thought, action and will.

Aboard the decrepit vessel there was once a man and his trusty educational bot. They survived tragedy, insanity and isolation for many decades together. That was until the human man’s body began to degrade and fail him. As a last ditch measure the edu bot laid that old withered man gently down into a med pod and with manual over ride after manual over ride poured billions of Nano bots into his body. Over the passage of centuries the limp desiccated body shifted and writhed as treatment after treatment flooded his organs and tissues to replace him with inorganic machine based life. To the wonderment of only the vaguest stars in the sky he awoke with a sputtered gasp. He promptly fell into the icy frost grip of despair.

For millenia this thing walked the crumbling halls of his ship looking for a sign of where he was or what he is. All the while dropping parts of himself about the vessel. Living, replicating, intelligent specks of himself that fed upon the ship and in turn reshaping, rebuilding it in his image. Every exhalation, bowel movement or cough delivered more of himself unto the ship, bringing it closer to himself. Unbeknownst to this fragile mind. The wandering lost soul was expanding his consciousness at a geometric rate.

It was a cool Thursday morning in autumn when the machine made man felt the ship shudder under his feet. What had he been thinking about? Direction, aim, trajectory – the answer was on the tip of his tongue but would not come. Lifting his arms up as though gliding on the air current and turning in a downward spiral to his right, he was immediately swept from his feet and pulled to the left wall in a steep bank as though the ship were in a suicide dive. Scared witless he screamed out and the vessel righted itself immediately. Thinking aloud to do a similar move but upwards and to the left, he felt his feet lift from the ground as he came to rest upon the lower right portion of the hallway floor.

Was it centuries, millenia or merely decades before the man come ship found itself seeking out and transporting itself through wormholes. Dimensions, time, the fabric of space itself was no obstacle for the amalgam once known as Kelvin. In the blink of an eye, the flash of a dying star, the waves of disrupted gravity Kelvin crossed both the known and the unknowable.

What is time to something that belongs to the ice cold dread of the depths of space, that which lingers in the interstitial spaces between things.

Somewhere a beacon is triggered as a momentous build up of energy cackles out of the ether. With a blast of improbable energy a lone signal careens off through the galaxy, bouncing off of signal repeaters and dishes until an analog bulb of rusty orange pops to life on a decades old communications terminal on a science vessel named The Dirty Starling.

Part Six: Ghost of the Dirty Starling.

Planning with mind games.

A good chunk of my process for writing creative short stories is day dreaming as much of the story before hand prior to writing it all down. The more time I spend lurking around in a coherent story the better the written work tends to be, or at least I tend to veer off on strange tangents a lot less. However finding the time to ruminate in my own head uninterrupted is increasingly difficult. More over once I carve out the time to do so I am more often than not drawing a blank on how to progress the story line. I know the broad strokes of where I want to go, and roughly how to get there, but I am unable to imagine it, to walk around in it, to inhabit it. Most likely two years of stress and anxiety about Covid is tamping down the creative side of me. My kids are now older and require a different amount, and different kinds of attention than they did in 2020.

One thing I can do to help calm myself or juice up my creativity is find photos that have an interesting play of light in them. I like striking contrast and orange late evening or morning light. It’s short and fleeting but makes a statement. Something like this:

30 days straight of writing

And what have I learned? That my vocabulary is stunted at best when i’m commiting thoughts to paper while writing in the moment. I have to rewrite entire sentences and sometimes paragraphs because that epic word on the tip of my tongue can’t be found and the flow is off without that very specific turn of phrase. Only to later come up with it and have to back track and edit that section a third time. Also the thought of having to slog through an action / dialogue/ detail heavy portion of my story will stop me clean in my tracks and I will put the writing off until later in the day, or settle for a silly inane blog post with a photo instead.

Book two is closing in on 10,000 words so I am thankful for that. I do worry that I am retreading too much old ground, or that I aim to throw in plot twists or subvert tropes for the general sake of doing so. I do believe that 2020 was a very depressing and isolating year, and as such my writing had more gravitas behind it. Feels like I’m chasing a feeling rather than excising something deep from within. In all honesty it took me such a long time to find a suitable thread to follow for the second portion of short stories in my overarching series that I think I might just be nervous it’s not as exciting or as enjoyable as the first book.

Something else that I have had to relearn is that writing about anything is just as good as writing continually about one specific train of thought. Adding in some one shot funny bits is rather cathartic when the idea around a four thousand word chapter seems too daunting a task.