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Tag: clutter

It’s a strange feeling when you learn to let go.

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It can be really challenging to let go, whether it’s things, stuff, accumulated junk, perceived slights, missed opportunities,  whatever it may be. Knowing what you can comfortably give up, or get rid of and not have it gnaw at you is a hard won skill to have. Oh you are going to have the opposite to buyers remorse a few times when you start out. Misjudge what a thing means to you. But if you keep at it, and be as down to earth and real with yourself you’ll know exactly what you can, and cannot part with. Knowing your limitations is good. You can test it, expand it incrementally, but you have to know where that line is drawn so as to not hurt yourself (feelings – not physically). 20 year old me would lose his mind to hear about clearing out books, and clothes. I carted 24 or more 76L tote boxes of books and stuff around with me from move to move for years. Why? Because my stuff was what felt like home to me, not the location. We moved a fair bit in my youth, so people, friends, and locations don’t mean as much to me because we severed those connections (as I was so little) when we moved, so my home was my “things“. Materialistic much? Yeah. Gets real easy to fall into the must buy things trap. Surround myself with stuff to feel at home. But my situation is different now, as we’ve lived in the same house for 15 years. I’ve never stayed in one spot, let alone one house for that long. I feel like, for the first time, I’m putting roots down. It’s a strange realization. So I have to change. Have to heal. Let some of that shit go. Accept the parts that made me, well – me. But let go of some of that hurt. Don’t play the What if? game. Let it pass through you and be better afterward. That sounds glib. I’m no psychologist. I’d wager there is far more going on in the background than I can articulate. But understanding where your foibles stem from, looking at those circumstances with a critical eye, making adjustments to things that are harming you because of it, and trying to do better, is worth it. For me. Perhaps not for you.

Closets, drawers, dressers, book shelves, and my old wardrobe.  Stuff I haven’t touched in ten years. A good portion of it can go. Serve someone else as you have served me. Let someone less fortunate go work their first office job with my old dress shirts/pants. Let some teen read those fat ass books because I sure as hell wasn’t going to read them. Whether it was a style of writing I couldn’t get into, the subject matter, or any number of other reasons. No good holding on to that stuff just to look like I have a library at home. I’m not holding on to 1,000 books I don’t plan on reading, enjoying, or being challenged by, just to qualify my horde as a library. Ridiculous. Better served to go to the community at large. I’ll read twitter on my phone, and the occasional article, but I read best with a physical book in my hands. That hasn’t changed, and I don’t think it will. But also, if I choose incorrectly and buy a book I don’t like, I don’t feel as though I HAVE to keep that book for the rest of my life. Subtle difference. I wish I could read faster/on demand so that I could utilize a library. But my mood towards a book, even one I’m loving is so volatile I can’t stick to reading one in 10-14 days, as a general rule.

This has been a weird one. To summarize. Deep cleaning is good. Letting go of some things you’ve held on to for unhealthy reasons is good. Understanding where your tendencies stem from is good. Using that to change your life/habits little by little for the better is good. You will over do it early in the process, and hurt yourself. Be as truthful as you can be to yourself, and start small. Also I read so inconsistently I can’t seem to utilize a library very well, and continue to buy books most years, though not in the volume I once did. I am also ok with putting a book down part way in if it doesn’t do anything for me. I can give those books to others. It’s ok to not like/love every single book I pick up. Statistically speaking that was an unlikely expectation in the first place.

Happy Christmas Eve, to all whom celebrate. We have more rain, fog and potential for freezing rain. Not much going on around here this Sunday December 24th, 2023.

Oh Don’t You Worry, I’m Very Aware That I Dress Like A Toddler.

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Rumpled t-shirts, the same two pair of comfortable sweats, and a Patagonia style zip up sweater are my go to wardrobe now that I am a full time work from home dad, and have been doing so since 2017. With few to no in person meetings I have left my professional work attire unattended in my closet gathering dust. I also put on several pounds during the last four years, and I’m certain much of that attire no longer fits in a flattering manner. As I can attest to during the series of funerals I attended this July. Well, I had updated several pairs of slacks, but never thought about my dress shirts, and those lovely shirts may need to go to someone else. Or I have to do something, and lose weight. Or at the very least tone up the flabby bits, so I can get away with keeping my work clothes. My usual grey or black monochromatic dress code looks super-duper shabby. I should at least try to wear proper pants, or at least jeans or my work pants once or twice a week. I think I can build that into a habit. I keep meaning to hem some other pants I have to increase my wearable roster of leisure wear. I’ve said this a few years in a row now. But! Ha-ha, we have a sewing machine in the house now, so I can do it myself if I find my thread and figure out how to load the machine. Or hand stitch a bunch more. I did at one point start this process on each pair of pants, but gave up after putting in a couple stitches on each pair. It was tiresome, and it needed a lot of stitches. I stabbed my fingers a few times, and was unhappy with the lacklustre results. Will I remember? Will I follow through on the shift in what is an acceptable wardrobe for a forty plus year old man, father, husband, business owner/operator? Stay tuned.

It’s a rainy Sunday here today. I have one last Amazon package to be delivered. Not a Christmas present to be exact. But a new, large stereo for the house. A JBL Boombox 2, 80 Watts of blood pumping waterproof goodness. I want to be able to annoy the neighbourhood with my 50’s classic rock, and a soft spot for Weird Al Yankovic. Followed closely by the raucous chaos of Chas n’ Dave, and a bit of Status Quo on top. Layer in a fair bit of Wolfmother, Soundgarden, and early 2000’s club beats and I’m there my friends. Shaking, bumping, gyrating to the music. Club rat 101 going on out on the dance floor. I may jiggle & sway a whole lot more now than in my twenties, but I can still cut a rug, or get down!

Even had the chance to take a few Christmas presents over to my inlaws on Saturday. Slowly I am making my way towards reclaiming floor space. Hell on Friday I moved nine (9) full vacuum bags of childrens clothes out of the basement closets. That had to be 500-600 cumulative pounds of too small childrens clothing. Enfant wear, right up to age 5. Anything that fits a 6-9 year old child got kept, obviously. But we made a significant dent in the amount of clothing we were storing away. I’m beginning to be able to see our basement floor again! Progress. Next on the list are toys. Some can go to school for the MID kids there, others can go to the cottage, and others still can go in the trash. But most of all, I want it sorted, and looked after, up off the floor. I admit, that is tough to do with the Christmas tree in the living room, but they should be able to manage their own rooms for grown out of toys & junk / garbage. Or I’ll wait for school on Monday, pick a room and begin to purge unannounced.

I wanted to do that in September but I was actually busy with paid work, so this fall I did not do any DIY projects, or go over the entire house to throw away the newly gathered junk. I did a real good job of that the first year both kids were at school together. And in all honesty we have not gathered up nearly as much junk since that initial clear out. Not to say we don’t have things to get rid of, we absolutely do. Just not anywhere near as much. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Our house is tiny, and the clutter makes it feel even smaller than it really is. We can not hold on the every single thing that catches a passing fancy. At least not in the current disorganized way. I’d like dolls of certain sizes to be stored with other similar items, so that if you are looking for a specific toy of that nature you need but upend just one bin, and not every single toy box in the house. Simple things like that would make me happy. Less clutter, more organization with intent, and a habit of cleaning up after oneself. Not perfection, but sweep after dropping food on the floor, taking plates and cups to the kitchen after use, not leaving wrappers all over the house. We can build up from there.

Have a great Lazy Sunday. May all your chores go smoothly today. Ciao Bella.