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Tag: discipline

Pulling muscles and exposing weaknesses.

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To say that my fitness journey has been rocky is a vast understatement. My goal of getting down under 200lbs has stalled, stopped, started, faultered, and sputtered more than it has actually delivered any results, and mainly because I haven’t been able to keep with it for more than a week to ten days at a time.

I was moving along at a fair pace during winter, until I caught Covid during March break. And since I’ve had EBV fairly recently, like late 2015, I wasn’t in a rush to have SARS2 kickstart that virus back up again, nor risk any Long Covid symptoms so I gave myself twelve weeks less a day before I picked up my weights, and actually got physically active again. Then we got into summer and our travel plans and I did not ship my weights, nor my bike along with us. And now I’m home, heading into the fall, and I have done only a day or two of exercise in the last month or more. I tried pull ups in the park the other day, and did a horizontal zip line type thing, and the muscles through my chest and abdomin are screaming bloody murder at me. So no sit ups just yet. No body weight hangs either!

I do fantasize about doing a proper free weights regimen, or getting into cycling, or Crossfit again, but ultimately I want to lose weight, get into better shape, but not spend much money at all to do so. So much like my writing, I need to convert action into habits, and fit it into my every day without fanfare or bluster. I know I will NEVER wake up early just to exercise, but I would stay awake 10-15 minutes more to fit in a quick jumble through some minor movements, provided I don’t make myself all sweaty after having showered for bed already.

Whatever – point is, my physical fitness is lacking, my discipline and motivation to get in and do anything is an uneven ebb and flow. I need to change it from an event to a habit, and that requires a mental shift I haven’t been able to replicate since 615 days ago when I started writing every day. And in most cases my blog post is more like an uneventful journal entry, and not the short stories, or long form writing I had intended it to be. Still going though! So that’s something.

My weight is hovering around 203-206lbs, and my goal is to reach 185lbs, and then possibly continue to 175lbs, and then remain close to that goal weight. Heavy enough to remain substantial, but not heavy enough to really harm my joints, knees, hips, ankles etc… take some pressure off of my abdomin, try to reduce my snoring too. Do my best to reduce all these new jiggly bits. Size down the stomach an inch or two so that my pants fit more comfortably. I don’t need to go back to a size 30 waist, but to be comfortable in 32’s would be beneficial for my wardrobe. That would open back up all the nicer menswear I had to put away as I got heavier. My dress shirts would all become wearable, same with my suits, sport coats, and jackets. All my medium t-shirts could come out of retirement too. Oh to dream. Ha. But I need to do it though. Wishing and wanting don’t seem to get me more than a day or two in. Going to HAVE to do things. Eat smaller portions, and be more active. Walk more. Squats, push ups, sit ups, lunges, burpees, running, cycling, swimming, lifting weights, stretching. Some, all, or a combination of the above. Consistently. For weeks and months on end.

Don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging. I will be sure to report in regarding how things progress, or not. It’s a shame Fitbit’s are so pricey, a cheap step counter might be my best Avenue in. I like seeing a visual goal, and then reaching or exceeding something that I can see might work in my favour. Doubtful. Just an excuse to spend money. Though, I bet I can find my wife’s old first gen fitbit somewhere. Hmm.

It’s February 1st : An exploration of Day 49.

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Almost to fifty, if you can believe that. This wasn’t so much a new years resolution as an attempt to grind out some time in my schedule to do any sort of writing I could on a consistent basis. And on a couple of select days that has prompted me to write new and interesting materials. It’s not all Pulitzer worthy text, which I am aware, but genre-esque space science fiction fun. Easy reading if you will. My question now is, how long do I keep the streak running for? Until I finish book two? Most likely yes. Then I might take a break. Or, after I complete the last six or seven more chapters I’ll switch gears and write a few more autobiographical one off’s to pad the page count a bit. Make it feel like the 99 cents through Kindle is worth it! Ha.

Or I’ll feel like painting or sculpting or it’ll get warm enough to do some wood working. I find it unpleasant to handle chisels in sub zero temperatures. If it’s around zero or above i can make it work.

Had a solid work day yesterday, and today is shaping up to be a good one too. Invoices out means paid invoices coming back in, in the near future. Just resting my wrist for a shake while I quickly clack this out on my phone via thumbs. Have to make the effort to get up and walk around. Shake out those shoulders and legs. Get limber! Stay healthy out there people!

What does forty three (43) days mean to you.

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I’ll tell you what it means to me. A flat plateau, and a bit of a slog. Feeling as though I’m treading water and gaining no new ground. However, on the upside, if there is one and I can call it that. There is a certain satisfaction in following along with the process and maintaining discipline. It’s not much, but it’s honest work. There was never any guarantee that a spark would ignite everyday. Just the knowledge that making the time, sitting down and doing the thing, eventually, something would come of it. Could be that I’m passed the creative hump, and I just need to wrap it up in another six chapters or so. Could be I’ll find myself thirty five hundred words into a chapter and think, oh this needs more context, this needs to be explored. Or I’ll wrap it all up an a bow, spring will arrive and I can work outdoors again. It could be that I have a fantastic supply of paid work and I am devoting more brain power to my business than I did at the tail end of December, and I’m not at peak, rested, creative writing performance. Could be I’ll hear a funny comment and that’ll take me off on a tangent. Maybe I just wanted to bitch and whine, then carry on as before. I can be fickle, so that’s why pushing along with the process is so important. Without it, I can flounder and then spend hours following YouTube rabbit holes. Life is weird that way.

On a typical day, I need to get my kids sorted for school: breakfast, lunches made, hair & teeth. Set out clothes for the youngest. Get their outdoor gear ready by the door. Drop them off and run errands. Then once I’m home I can check emails for priority clients, work, or sit down to my own breakfast and have a think. That would be when I bust out the trusty phone and clickety clack my way through a blog post, thought, joke or retelling of something that’s happened, or ruminate on what’s to come for my short story series. Then I’ll take some time for laundry, cleaning up, dishes and vacuuming, or scrubbing bathrooms and sinks. Then check emails again, if I’ve missed any notifications, and carry on.

I’m not writing an epic fantasy novel, so setting aside ten to fifteen minutes to publish something isn’t that big a deal. I try not to judge my work against others, but that’s really fucking hard to do. But I write for me, even if I do chase those view statistics some days.

Do any of you have a process you’d feel comfortable sharing? I should also note – as I have said previously; I write on my phone because sitting at my office chair is where I do my paid day job, and I want to be able to walk around, talk aloud, act things out as I go (if need be) rather than be perched at my desk longer than I have to be. Trying very hard not to get an RSI on my right wrist ever again. It sounded like twisting a leather glove when my tendons got inflamed. Oh that hurts, just thinking about it. Couldn’t rotate my right wrist & radius it hurt so bad. But I digress.

Three weeks of writing everyday

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And what have I learned, or what is my major take away? It’s this… I still can’t figure out how to get in the groove to write any new fiction/non-fiction creative writing for a (micro) short story. I have had a couple of flickers of story ideas flash through my mind, but nothing I’ve been able to jot down on paper or contemplate long enough to find my way through it. Which is… annoying, I suppose. I’m not a writer per se, but I really did enjoy putting 60,000 plus words together in a somewhat cohesive story line in 2020 and early 2021. I always wanted to write a book, and I did it. I guess I thought that once I had done it I would be able to revisit that ability at will. That is proving to not be the case, at least at the moment. I’m what?, annoyed… yeah a little, disappointed…. sort of… feeling like it’s just a bit of a funk? Most likely. Much like any of my creative endeavors, if I force it, I’ll only produce forced garbage, but if I maintain some discipline and attempt to do something along those lines every day, at some point something will click or an idea will catch and my habit of doing it for a little bit every single day might stretch out and I could get on to something. Could, might, maybe, if… not possibilities to shy away from this early into the new year. I hope the month of January finds you all clear headed, and with vibrant ideas flowing from your finger tips.