If I never build another springless trampoline in my lifetime it’ll have been one too many to begin with. What a horrendous pain in the ass this monstrosity is. Counter intuitive. Washed out colour coded stickers. Oblong netting that only fits if it’s exactingly precise. A nightmare all around. Plus it’s second hand, and has seen some wear and tear, Nay! Neglect, I would venture to say. Bent frame pieces, legs that are 5° out of wack, and the sockets for the fiberglass pins all splayed out willy-nilly. My god. I hate it. I hate with a passion. I detest it with the fire of a thousand suns. We’ve gotten within 5% of complete, only to realize the instructions put us off by mere inches. Had to strip it back down and start again, three fucking times. I hate it, I hate it, I hate myself. Bah gawd lowrd in heavon! Fuck. Taking photos of it to take to the main office in Markham to see if we in fact have a lemon, or if these contraptions are among some of the worst things designed ever. My palms are bruised, my knuckles scraped, my arms are tired, and we still have fifty to sixty of these springless pins left to attach to the canvas mat at some point in the near future to look forward to. To say I am frustrated, angered, livid or disagreeable right now, is to put things mildly. I care not, for you or your ilk, springless trampoline. I would take a saws-all too you if I could. Pitch your parts into a burn barrel and watch your essence boil and bubble away into an equally ineffectual goo. You bother me, and I hate you. Fin.




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