Month: May 2021

Shouts the older grey haired man almost immediately after pushing his way through the grimy glass revolving doors, knocking an elderly man’s elbow causing him to fumble his hat, dropping it and then kicking it out into the gutter. Crossing the shabby lobby faux marble floor directly towards the rather bohemian looking man in a mad rush, his hawkish angular features pulled back into a sneer. “Oh, don’t start with me Derek, it’s this whole thing. I’m tired and sore so just leave me alone this one time, ok, huh!” squeaks the meager looking man shambling along with the flow of foot traffic heading to the thick line up for the elevators into the enormous and drab building. Pulling along beside the bedraggled man, Derek leans down over top of him and whispers “Come on little man, tell me, you always have the best stories. I need another doozy to impress the c-suite suits!” It’s a harsh whisper, the kind that carries and reverberates off of the polished concrete and forty year old wooden accents on the wall behind the sconces. Above the bank of elevator doors the massive brass clock ticks away noisily. People stand crammed together in the tight space, shuffling their feet and readjusting ties and hair pins. The heat of other peoples breathe is starting to make the little man sweat. Somebody has eaten day old eggs and sardines. “It was nothing really, nothing much at all!” whimpers the emaciated man. “Not sure why Doris made me sleep on the couch, I didn’t really do anything wrong.” His voice a wet warble little more than a whine. “Sure sure, bud, of course, I know you have a good heart.” “I do, I really do, I just say things some times, they just come out, I just tend to blurt out what I’m thinking.” “I know you do, and it tends to be the gods honest truth doesn’t it bud?” “It does, yes… but I don’t know…” He groans. “Come on bud, the elevators almost here, just gimme the Cole’s notes version.” “Well, after I got home from work, Doris had made me dinner, you see, a burger, well an unbattered chicken burger to be exact, so should have seen it, it was so thick, it was glorious!” He exclaims. “Ok, ok bud, there’s only twenty floors to go before this carriage gets here.” “Oh, ok, yeah, so It’s great you see, I’m tucking into it, and it’s juicy and delicious. Then on my fifth bite I get a real heavy crunch, like, almost crack my tooth kind of crunch right?” “Yeah, ok, crunchy chicken, not so good.” “Yeah, so I says, without thinking mind you, ‘Oh! must of had a bit of beak!’ and Doris without missing a beat, she throws up, all over Avery and Gemma. That’s my boy and my little girl see, they’re attached at the hip with Doris. Then they start to throw up, on themselves, each other and Doris too, you know for good measure. Then the dog wanders into the room because of all the commotion, you know?” “Dogs and commotion! It’s a real thing, I believe you.” “So he starts feasting on it, it is fountaining out of all three of them, all over the walls, the floor, each other’s hair, the carpet, the couch. It was absolutely everywhere.” “Oh, dear god man. why would you say that?” “I don’t know, it just sorta slipped out. Either way, Doris threatened divorce yet again, and they all retired to bed and I spent the first half of the evening cleaning it all up because…” Cutting across him Derek adds in. “Because you had to sleep on the couch, ok got it! Great, thanks bud.” With a loud chime the elevator signals its descent to the main floor lobby, and Derek pushes beyond the little man, and leaves him to wait for the next one. As the door closes Derek points his finger guns at the man and gives him a thumbs up.