Did you know that…

If you took both of the novellas I’ve written and smushed them together you might almost get a full sized novel? The first book is on Kindle Unlimited, but I never released the second. Didn’t feel the need to. I figured if anybody cared for the first, it was because they had read bits and pieces of it here first, and I’ve made it well known that if you want Part Two for free all you had to do was comment to ask for it. And I’d ask for an e-mail address, burner or otherwise, and I’d send you the PDF free of charge, just because I’d be tickled pink that somebody might actually read it, other than myself, and various family members around the world. Now all I write are blog posts, and not very good ones at that. No sex, no drugs, and very little rock n’ roll to speak of. If you want depravity in your Science fiction then go read my books, or track down all fifty to sixty individual story posts in the archives.

The Company – A series of interconnected space short stories: Varied works of short fiction https://a.co/d/3uYvqJ2

Today is Day 800! Wow, great to be here, thank you. No applause needed. Wild ride. We have weathered travel, several deaths, a Jericho wind storm that knocked out power for 26 long hours, illnesses such as Covid, the flu, stomach bugs, and other such fun items. Not to mention a very busy work schedule, and most of my wife’s year off. And a whole lot of chatter about the weather. So much weather talk. Like being stuck in a line at the bank. How about this warm spell? So grey out. Can you believe the wind? My goodness. I do go on.

So what’s instore for my luxury conscious fan base, those accustomed to the finer points I love to elucidate for them. Well, not much. These big milestone dates seem to pile up, come & go without much fanfare. The daily habit became more important to me than hitting any one of these numbers. I do however, occasionally get suckered into watching the view count for dopamine hits, but I try to limit that. I don’t do this for any kind of notoriety. I do it to get stuff out and on record for myself, more so than for any body else. Maybe my kids might read some of this, but even that isn’t why I keep all of these thoughts written down. A legacy of thousands of words to litter the internet with. I’m doing my part. AI can suck it!

Day 800 of the write every day challenge, has a good ring to it, but other than that, isn’t of much use to me. I can’t use it on my resume, I’m not seeking work for copy writing, plus my style is loose, bordering on unpolished turd territory. A fair few of my characters all sound just like me, regardless of gender or orientation. Young, old, all me. Mean spirited, snarky, and a little too earnest. Say what you mean, mean what you say! I’m not good at writing mysterious people, or heists. So I don’t.  I write about being lonely, or sick, feeling isolated, and worrying about things bigger than myself. I try to steer away from technical jargon, as I’m not that guy. I do a fair bit of finger waving at physics and science in general. Plus I was writing very short stories, so being concise yet evocative was my jam, man.

Except in the case of the children’s illustrated book I’m making. I mean, it’s short too, but more silly and fun than my typical short fiction. Which reminds me I really do need to get those last eight pages drawn, and then post it here for posterity.

The steps themselves are more important than where I finally land. That is, unless somebody wants to option it for a series or a short film and I’ll change my tune for dollar, dollar bills y’all. I think I’d wind up winning the lottery before that ever happened, so there’s that. All I’m saying is, love the steps you are taking on the projects you do, and not the end result. Laurels aren’t for resting on. And other empty hokey sayings. Ciao Bella.

Why, oh why

Do my children insist on trying to communicate with me at the pitch of a whiney tea kettle. A stream of unending vowels and consonants imitating the squealed peel of an agitated dolphin. To my hearing lossed ears it’s just a pointless whistle that contains no information at all. Like a fire alarm in a high C monotone in which I am requested to decipher both the meaning and an action plan remedy. Followed, obviously by tears, flailing and shouting from the other sibling in response. And it happens constantly no matter how many times I tell them that I don’t speak tea kettle, dolphin, or whistle languages fluently. The Joy’s of parenthood I suppose. Blessed.

The contradictions of being two things at once.

I’ll give you an example, loving the sound of my kids laughing and giggling, but being annoyed by them making too much noise as those same laughs move into the cackle/shriek territory.  Enjoying a quiet afternoon,  and then finding out your kids were quiet because they were destroying a windowsill with inkless pens and drawing straight into the wood itself. Wanting to be alone and then feeling isolated and lonely. We are strange creatures us humans. Walking, talking contradictions. Wishing you all a happy, healthy 2022.

Those dark shadows in between.

Could be the lack of brilliant sun shine, it could very well be the onset of the winter cold. The feeling of being adrift and starting to float reminds me of being depressed in my teens due to medications, & fatigue from Crohn’s Disease. I find myself wanting to sleep more and more, losing interest in hobbies, and also having angry or violent dreams at night. My sleep is restless and every day feels the same regardless of holiday, weekday or weekend. I realize the pandemic has us all on edge and have recently discovered what a low level panic attack feels like, and bud, I feel for all of you whom have had to deal with a full fledged version, because, WOW!, unpleasant. I also know that I’m really getting inside my own head of late, and that’s not a good place to spend too much time. I due have introverted tendencies, so I love alone time and being quiet, but that’s when it is by choice and not foisted upon me by external forces I have zero control over. It can sometimes feel like a weight pressing down on my shoulders while the tide is trying to kick my feet out from under me. However, soon enough there will be sunshine, warm, grass and flowers and the ability to get outdoors more comfortably. It’s not all bleak and gloomy though. I did get the last book in a great series to read for Christmas, so I do intend to enjoy that as much as possible. And, reading about the exploits of the James Webb Space Telescope has been rather exciting! (JWST) For the potential science win. Woot woot!

After all this time

I didn’t do any work on my illustrated children’s book this year at all. Last year in Year One of the Covid-19 pandemic I took my rough notes and wrote the story out in full, and then also rewrote it two more times, along with a few character sketches, but then I’ve just left it sitting untouched. Mind you, I did then go and write a full book of short stories in its stead. Now however I feel like I should resurrect the project for 2022. Alas, in the few golden months I had since both of my kids were attending in person school I tackled home diy projects to improve or finish off rooms in the house, rather than devote myself to an illustrated childrens book. I haven’t drawn by hand in a very long time, and I haven’t painted in watercolours or acrylics in nearly the same amount of time. I think I’m nervous about the artwork being terrible, more so than the story not being entertaining. But wave #5 and the end of Year Two of the pandemic are nearly upon us all. Part of me is still chasing the high from actually writing a full book of interconnected short stories set mostly out in space, along with some non-fiction autobiographical stuff mixed in. Funny how a lot has happened while nothing has happened. A very strange feeling. I think what I’m missing is, I used to come and work/write every day from 12-2pm while my kids napped, and then the youngest gave up naps, and I had to resort to working at night and then I dropped off my writing habits because I was focused on the paid work for my day job, and my brain was a tad fried from several weeks where I wrote 5 or 6 thousand words over some very productive days, week after week. Not always that many, but I know my cognitive skills dipped on any day that I wrote more than 3,500 words at once. A fugue state, brain fog, brain fart, mom brain, synapse fatigue or what have you. Odd feeling, that. Oh yeah, and I devoted more time to wood working, and I scaled back my sculpting too this year. Perhaps a more rounded dabbling in all of my hobbies will make for a better choice next year. Glad I am alive and well enough to consciously make that decision.

Starting to get annoyed with myself…

After a very strong start to the year for creative writing I am finding it damn near impossible to formulate any kind of coherent story in my mind that I could even try to commit to paper. Went back through some of my micro short stories to try and jog something free, and it just isn’t happening. Which makes me both sad and angry. Angry because I have the time to write at this point in my life, and I’m not really doing so, and sad because I had thought back in early 2020 that I might actually crack 100,000 words of creative writing this year. Not that just shy of 60,000 is terrible, but I haven’t produced anything of note in several months. Not only that but I haven’t sculpted much of anything this year either, not completed either of the two model kits I assembled. Read fewer books this year, and haven’t watched anywhere near as many new films (the pandemic hit Hollywood, so that isn’t really a surprise). But still, the void can be felt. No painting to speak of either. Have done a few minor wood working projects so I’ll count that as a plus, but now that we’re into December the likelyhood that any items will get finished or be good enough to give as gifts are slim to none. As a creatively minded person I have very little personal work to show over the last five months. Did some exciting paid work, which I am proud of, but beyond that, very disappointed in my output and subsequent apathy. Not going to sit and stare at empty paper or screens as that doesn’t help. Tomorrow is a new day, and perhaps I’ll clue in to something I can work with then.

It has been more than a month…

Since I last wrote anything here. Things have been sort of strange. I picked up a new client (which is awesome) and have been pretty busy with design work, even though all of my other clients have had to buckle down and curtail their spending. Plus it has been hot as balls in southern ontario this summer, and we’ve spent many, many hours outside swimming and tending to the farm crops. So much weeding. I am sick to death of weeds. But on the plus side, we’ve made pickles and fresh relish, so Go! Team!

Have a wooden screen door on my work bench, and a few bowls or a vase on the lathe to do before Christmas. Fall is just around the corner, and that brings it’s own wheel barrow full of problems and technical issues we need to solve to stay COVID-19 free. Laundry/showering/disinfecting my school ahed child and teacher wife. We’ve been problem free due to physical distancing, but now that is no longer an option. Lots of lost sleep and stressing as a result.

I hope to be able to write a few more short stories before years end, but I’ll wait until I have something to say, or a new facet to explore in my pre-existing sci-fi universe. Maybe a turn at horror, or all out action, or a real think piece. No idea. Haven’t drawn a single page of my children’s book, but again, not concerned about it at this point.

Perhaps the fall will bring some old clients back into the fold with paid work, or they’ll ramp up in early first quarter of 2021.

Feeling creatively blah…

Haven’t done much of anything creative for myself in a while. I have been trying to game out some story plots and losing track mid way through. Haven’t painted or sculpted anything in several weeks either. Completed a few paid projects but beyond that haven’t felt compelled to do much of anything really.

I did start my corn hole game build, and picked up my allotment of cedar for a front porch bin for garbage can, green bin and recycling boxes. Damn raccoons get into everything. Still in the early planning stages for that particular house hold item. I made a step stool several weeks ago, which was fun and easy. But haven’t felt like doing anything with all of this pause time.

Mind you our house has two kids at home, whom are exhausting. Keeping two kids five and under occupied, entertained, exercised, and educated is proving to be a monumental task. Plus my wife is working from home, and I had paid work going on daily up until recently. Fatigue is a mother fucker, believe you me.

On the upside I have done a fair bit of reading. I read the third installment of John Scalzi’s The Last Emperox (Great, by the way). Marcus Heitz’s fifth Dwarf book in his series (a very pleasant read), a book about the New Horizons mission to flyby Pluto in 2015 (just incredible!). I have started a book about the Mars rover Curiosity, but I’m only a handful of pages in, so I can’t say much about it one way or another.

On a side note I managed to get my Brad nailer and pin nailer up and running, so I don’t have to use so many wood screws on everything anymore. That was exciting. Cleaned up the garage so that I can actually move around in there. Cleaned out the rain gutters after a huge downpour. Poor timing on my part, but in my defense when I put up our Christmas lights they were fairly clear, so I didn’t think they would be clogged. Good thing we didn’t flood because of it. Got up there and pulled several pounds of decayed leaves out of the downspouts, so checked that off the list.

Would like to paint the downstairs hall, and wash/sand/stain the back deck this summer. That is unless some events come back online with heightened pandemic health protocols in place, and I can get back to producing event audit marketing reports, instore signage and sales catalogs and sell sheets and other branding materials again.

That heatwave was rather unpleasant, but it’s been such a crazy year, the fact the weather is wonky doesn’t surprise me much at this point.

A toddler becoming a three-nager is a very real and frightening thing. She’s lovely, but good lord. Dealing with attitude from a five year old and a nearly three year old, is something else. The struggle is real y’all. Hod love’em, but they test my patience.

The USA is burning. Racism is alive and booming all around the world. That sucks, a lot. Don’t be a cunt to other humans. Work to bring around the change you want to see. Donate, volunteer, or take a moment of self reflection and introspection. Help those less fortunate than yourselves.

It’s chaos, be kind – Michelle Macnamara

Slow down on the work front

Seems as though the Pandemic has finally interrupted my work flow. I just completed the last project that I had on the books earlier today, and now I have to wait on several invoices to be paid, and hold up for a while. Not great that this happened at tax time, as that’ll cut off a nice piece of savings from last year (though it isn’t mine to begin with, that’s why it’s called taxes). I just preferred to hold on to it in my accounts for a bit longer.

So now that the day job has ground to a halt, I will turn my attention towards completing some things around the house. I just built my youngest a step stool, with guard rails (because she’s a very petite nearly three year old). I have a mother’s day gift 95% completed, all that is left is final assembly and a protective finish. Then I will tackle a set of Corn Hole boards, and a wooden box to guard our trash bins and recycling from those gods be damned raccoons. Then we’ll strip, sand and finish the back deck. paint our downstairs hallway, and then I’ll attempt to build some scroll saw rustic wooden signs my wife asked me for last year. I will be completing most of these items with stock I had laying around all ready. As I don’t wish to spend money on materials, as clearing out old off cuts could really help me clean up my shop space. Plus I do need to tidy up in the shop, vacuum and sweep up the saw dust, and throw away old rags with varnish and other finishes soaked into them.

Plus we have some items I can hang up indoors for both girls that I need to do, but haven’t had the motivation to do. Wish I had some polymer clay laying around, but I do have other raw materials for self curing sculptures that I can try out for the first time.

On a side note, we spent a good portion of the last seven quarantine weeks building Lego® sets for the girls, and I ordered one off of Wish that I have yet to put together for myself. It’s a Technic® Mack Truck with container and trailer. Looks cool. Hard to do Lego® without the girls wanting to help, and this has tonnes of small, easy to loose, very important, structural pieces. Might have to be done at night in the evenings after the girls have gone off to bed. We’ll see. Anyway, hope this finds you well. If you have children, small children at that, I wish you the best of luck in the coming weeks, and for those that have all ready passed us by.

Overview of March

Bit of a strange month as you all can imagine. I didn’t do anywhere near as much writing, but I turned to sculpting and painting for a spell. Needed to do something less mentally taxing, since a lot of my waking hours have been spent in one form or another worrying about the global pandemic COVID-19 / Coronavirus. But, I did do a few bits of writing once a story caught my eye, and I turned to a subject that I know well. Being socially isolated, feeling lonely, stir crazy and just being desperate to talk to someone. All things I had a fair bit of experience with in my last year of High School, then working a full calendar year prior to college, my initial Sheridan college experience, then later on, as a freelancer working from home. But I’m more introverted than ever, so it doesn’t bother me as much now that I’m into my forties. With age comes some sort of wisdom I suppose. Ha. Plus I felt as though that twenty one chapters to my interconnected series was enough, and i didn’t want to write anything too topical, so I had to sit, wait and ruminate on a few ideas I had jotted down in the last few weeks, and let those ideas percolate through my brain. I decided to use the same universe, but all new characters, a new ship, and I steered clear of the large scale war building up in the background, that I tried to cover in one or two extra stories, but ultimately gave up on. I’m not good with writing scenes of that scale. I prefer to have two or three characters who do most of the talking, maybe one peripheral character to add exposition, if i don’t feel as though I have set the plot up well enough. But yeah, character heavy, dialogue and only a little bit of action, even if it tends towards large sweeping events that kill lots of people. Broad strokes here people, I’m aiming for quick, decisive broad strokes. I also like the format of trying to stay between six hundred and three thousand words. Short fiction. Evocative, if missing a few pieces of finer detail around the edges. Keep the story moving, if that’s what it calls for. Though I do like to linger in the quiet spaces between major events. Hurry up and wait, right? Something huge is on the horizon, but you have to wade through the usual tedium of your every day life to get there. The stuff often behind the scenes in a major movie. Boring to watch, but interesting to explore in writing. Since most of us read in isolation, or to ourselves even in public.  Anyway, to those who have read any of my stuff, thanks! To those who might find it in the coming months, thank you too! I wish you all the best during these awkward and trying times. Stay safe, stay healthy, and I hope to keep writing more until we make it on to the other side.