Keeping the minions occupied…

Is always a far more challenging task than anybody thinks it will be. You have to keep a balance in mind. If you go and do too many wild, crazy, zany expensive things up front the kids’ll expect that to continue through all nine weeks. So you gotta give them a lull, some down time in order to be feet in the air up a wall off their beds bored, and then pepper in a swim, a farm visit, a zoo trip, Wonderland visit, a movie in a proper theater, a play date with friends. Sounds mean, but if you do it all up front you get nothing but grief for the rest of the summer break. Eek out the extraordinary fun at a manageable pace. Keep the expectations for a typical day on a level you can handle. Will we go wake boarding, yes. But not so much that it becomes blasé. Just like cottage visits, beach visits, going to the gemstone mine, or visiting a national park. Go do it, but not with the expectation that this is an everyday occurence. That’s the gist of it.

Plus, he says, go read a book. Play with your toys, draw something, paint a picture, play in the back yard, ride your bikes, bounce a basketball, practice your serve and volley technique with a volley ball. Run some soccer drills, play catch, use your scooters, play a video game, watch one of the thousand movies we own. There is no shortage of things to do here at the house without also needing to drop serious coin on extraordinary outings. Go read!, especially go read. Between the four of us we own a libraries worth of texts. Fiction, science fiction, historical, romance, fantasy, horror, suspense, thriller, crime, sports related, space exploration, theocracy, communism, business admin, weather and geology, geography. Our interests are wide and varied. Humour, illustrated, technical manuals, wood working, you name it we have it or something adjacent to it by one or two steps.

Also, I think today is Tuesday. Only the second week in and losing track of time. Very peculiar sense to not know where you are in a given week. Calendars are your friends! Sleep in, stay up late, forget what day it is. What am I, fourteen again?

After all this time

I didn’t do any work on my illustrated children’s book this year at all. Last year in Year One of the Covid-19 pandemic I took my rough notes and wrote the story out in full, and then also rewrote it two more times, along with a few character sketches, but then I’ve just left it sitting untouched. Mind you, I did then go and write a full book of short stories in its stead. Now however I feel like I should resurrect the project for 2022. Alas, in the few golden months I had since both of my kids were attending in person school I tackled home diy projects to improve or finish off rooms in the house, rather than devote myself to an illustrated childrens book. I haven’t drawn by hand in a very long time, and I haven’t painted in watercolours or acrylics in nearly the same amount of time. I think I’m nervous about the artwork being terrible, more so than the story not being entertaining. But wave #5 and the end of Year Two of the pandemic are nearly upon us all. Part of me is still chasing the high from actually writing a full book of interconnected short stories set mostly out in space, along with some non-fiction autobiographical stuff mixed in. Funny how a lot has happened while nothing has happened. A very strange feeling. I think what I’m missing is, I used to come and work/write every day from 12-2pm while my kids napped, and then the youngest gave up naps, and I had to resort to working at night and then I dropped off my writing habits because I was focused on the paid work for my day job, and my brain was a tad fried from several weeks where I wrote 5 or 6 thousand words over some very productive days, week after week. Not always that many, but I know my cognitive skills dipped on any day that I wrote more than 3,500 words at once. A fugue state, brain fog, brain fart, mom brain, synapse fatigue or what have you. Odd feeling, that. Oh yeah, and I devoted more time to wood working, and I scaled back my sculpting too this year. Perhaps a more rounded dabbling in all of my hobbies will make for a better choice next year. Glad I am alive and well enough to consciously make that decision.

Starting to get annoyed with myself…

After a very strong start to the year for creative writing I am finding it damn near impossible to formulate any kind of coherent story in my mind that I could even try to commit to paper. Went back through some of my micro short stories to try and jog something free, and it just isn’t happening. Which makes me both sad and angry. Angry because I have the time to write at this point in my life, and I’m not really doing so, and sad because I had thought back in early 2020 that I might actually crack 100,000 words of creative writing this year. Not that just shy of 60,000 is terrible, but I haven’t produced anything of note in several months. Not only that but I haven’t sculpted much of anything this year either, not completed either of the two model kits I assembled. Read fewer books this year, and haven’t watched anywhere near as many new films (the pandemic hit Hollywood, so that isn’t really a surprise). But still, the void can be felt. No painting to speak of either. Have done a few minor wood working projects so I’ll count that as a plus, but now that we’re into December the likelyhood that any items will get finished or be good enough to give as gifts are slim to none. As a creatively minded person I have very little personal work to show over the last five months. Did some exciting paid work, which I am proud of, but beyond that, very disappointed in my output and subsequent apathy. Not going to sit and stare at empty paper or screens as that doesn’t help. Tomorrow is a new day, and perhaps I’ll clue in to something I can work with then.

Feeling creatively blah…

Haven’t done much of anything creative for myself in a while. I have been trying to game out some story plots and losing track mid way through. Haven’t painted or sculpted anything in several weeks either. Completed a few paid projects but beyond that haven’t felt compelled to do much of anything really.

I did start my corn hole game build, and picked up my allotment of cedar for a front porch bin for garbage can, green bin and recycling boxes. Damn raccoons get into everything. Still in the early planning stages for that particular house hold item. I made a step stool several weeks ago, which was fun and easy. But haven’t felt like doing anything with all of this pause time.

Mind you our house has two kids at home, whom are exhausting. Keeping two kids five and under occupied, entertained, exercised, and educated is proving to be a monumental task. Plus my wife is working from home, and I had paid work going on daily up until recently. Fatigue is a mother fucker, believe you me.

On the upside I have done a fair bit of reading. I read the third installment of John Scalzi’s The Last Emperox (Great, by the way). Marcus Heitz’s fifth Dwarf book in his series (a very pleasant read), a book about the New Horizons mission to flyby Pluto in 2015 (just incredible!). I have started a book about the Mars rover Curiosity, but I’m only a handful of pages in, so I can’t say much about it one way or another.

On a side note I managed to get my Brad nailer and pin nailer up and running, so I don’t have to use so many wood screws on everything anymore. That was exciting. Cleaned up the garage so that I can actually move around in there. Cleaned out the rain gutters after a huge downpour. Poor timing on my part, but in my defense when I put up our Christmas lights they were fairly clear, so I didn’t think they would be clogged. Good thing we didn’t flood because of it. Got up there and pulled several pounds of decayed leaves out of the downspouts, so checked that off the list.

Would like to paint the downstairs hall, and wash/sand/stain the back deck this summer. That is unless some events come back online with heightened pandemic health protocols in place, and I can get back to producing event audit marketing reports, instore signage and sales catalogs and sell sheets and other branding materials again.

That heatwave was rather unpleasant, but it’s been such a crazy year, the fact the weather is wonky doesn’t surprise me much at this point.

A toddler becoming a three-nager is a very real and frightening thing. She’s lovely, but good lord. Dealing with attitude from a five year old and a nearly three year old, is something else. The struggle is real y’all. Hod love’em, but they test my patience.

The USA is burning. Racism is alive and booming all around the world. That sucks, a lot. Don’t be a cunt to other humans. Work to bring around the change you want to see. Donate, volunteer, or take a moment of self reflection and introspection. Help those less fortunate than yourselves.

It’s chaos, be kind – Michelle Macnamara

“That is quite the bruise you’ve developed there…

Kelvin, perhaps you need to visit a med pod down in the sick bay?” Croons the orange EDU bot I’ve nick named Ed. I know, I know, not exactly the most original thing I could have come up with, but Cunty Mc Cuntface or Sir ShitTeeth just don’t slide off the tongue so gracefully. “Oh this?” I say pointing down to the purple and yellow cluster that rings my left elbow just below the bicep. “It’s just an artefact of the reattachment surgery. I set it to leave a noticeable scar so I would know that the accident had actually happened and I didn’t dream it up one night. I suppose part of leaving a scar meant leaving some issues in the blood vessels or capillaries or some shit. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. Doesn’t hurt though, so that’s nice.” We are currently in the massive and wide open commissary. The scrubbers keep this whole ship immaculately clean. Plus with no other people alive on board besides me and the Educational tutor bot Ed, it doesn’t gather up much dirt. A vast white walled room with massive round tables bolted to the floors with permanent stools surrounding them. Spartan and very utilitarian, designed to keep servicemen moving, so they don’t linger after eating. A place to rest your backside long enough to gorge on a meal, but not something you want to hang on to for hours on end for social calls. The outer most portion has a bank of floor to ceiling windows that look out to the stars, with a portion of the vessel splayed out below it in a rather grand vista. Dotted with blinking running lights, and radar dishes and a few other observation domes. Just at the very edge of visibility is a massive grey bulge. Nothing beyond that point can be seen from this vantage point. Part of my daily routine is coming in here to eat and chat with Ed as I float in front of the enormous air vent with the output set to maximum. Imagine floating on the edge of some bluffs as you are perpetually buffeted by gale force winds rushing in off of the coast. Makes me feel like I’m back on earth. Although it makes carrying on a meaningful conversation with Ed a challenge. It’s starting to feel like a residual habit from an earlier, and less successful coping mechanism. As an early attempt at escapism, bury my face in a windy vent sounds fairly stupid, but it was the best thing I could come up with that offered me even a sliver of comfort. Drinking was what got me a long, arduous crawl into the sick bay while carrying my severed arm in my teeth in the first place, so I cut way back on the booze. Seemed like a prudent thing to do. It was a total fluke that I discovered Ed in the science departments largest lab. Gaining access was, and still is a disquieting and upsetting task. My collection of ‘helping hands’ has grown over the years. As new needs and requirements made themselves known. For example, as I wore out my slippers from three years of walking all over the ship, and doing extensive maintenance tasks across all of the various departments. I had to gain access to the procurement depot and upgrade my footwear, harnesses, jumpsuit, the inner body sock, oh, oh and I even switched over to the new fangled Nanoparticles that removes the need for a colostomy bag, and catheter for urine collection. That was an amazing day, let me tell you. Removing the catheter for the last time was a moment I will cherish for the rest of my life. The technological upgrades that materialized in my wrist communicator and biometrics was nothing short of dazzling. Like it now has the ability to project a three dimensional holographic display. My eyes can adjust to near total darkness, and I just don’t feel cold or hot anymore. I feel like a god. It’s truly remarkable.

With the sound of drive wheels whirling, and the harsh patter of tank treads hitting the metal grating on the floor, I’m pulled out of my reverie by Ed moving to position himself directly below me, and closer to the exhaust port of the central commissary fan. Opening my eyes makes them water in the down draft, so I pull away from the stainless steel vent hood, and float back down to the floor. Once I make contact the magnetic locks contained in my jumpsuit keeps me firmly planted on the ground, but free to move about without too much lag. “Hey Ed, i have a strange question. One i wouldn’t really have ever thought much about.” Standing face to face with the EDU bot, or what I approximate as a face for Ed. A plate at chest height, that can extend upwards on a neck like column, full of lights, lenses, a speaker and various sensor arrays. “I’d expect no less from you Kelvin, the lack of questions that is.” Blurts out the bot. “Gee, thanks Ed. My question is… what the fuck is the name of this ship anyway?” I ask in as casual a manner as I can muster, seeing as how I’ve been employed, and deployed on this vessel for little more than three years now. “Well, Kelvin. We are on The Company research vessel The Lark Song. How does that make you feel?” Chirps the lump of orange tech on tank treads. It is rather disjointed how such a formerly stuffy grad student science tutor has started to look so drab and beaten up around the edges after two years of being my daily companion. I’ve put him through his paces helping me run maintenance jobs around the ship. “The Lark Song huh? That’s not anything like what I thought you’d say. Not even close. Ha.” I chuckle to myself. Thank god for the BOTKEY and the command codes that I discovered only months ago. Being able to trigger real time conversation in psychiatric mode has really brought me out of my shell. Though, I prefer being introverted on a busy ship, and not being extroverted with a machine because I have no other choice. See the difference there? It’s subtle, but meaningful. “Ed, I’ve been thinking. I have looked through every deck on this ship and I can not for the life of me figure out where, or what that massive blister is that you can see from the commissary windows at the very edge of visibility.” Pointing back through the brilliant white room to the black empty windows. “I would have to observe it for myself, and I could extrapolate approximate coordinates from the schematics I downloaded when I hard wired to the ship. Since I don’t have GPS, I will have to guess rather than give you a definitive answer.” Ed turns about on a zero radius, a space saving feature thanks to his tank treads. A neat feature we didn’t initially know was that he has a two tonne towing capacity. Would have come in very handy when stacking the bodies of the dead, but I digress. Taking the forty or so paces from the central vent out to the windows we stand motionless shoulder to orange coloured chest cube. “Kelvin, that particular portion of the ship is not listed under any directory I have seen or accessed. But I estimate it to be about twenty one hundred meters forward of us, and possibly eight to ten decks below. Near the waste water treatment sector, on top of the sanitation department faring.” Turning to look at each other Ed speaks before I have the chance. “Kelvin, not to be morbid but we might need to go aft to dig up an extra ‘helping hand’ to gain access.” His low tone is somber. Snapping my fingers I say “Beat me to it. Yeah, but who do we borrow from? Sanitation? Water works? Engineering?” I say with a shrug of my shoulders. “Might I suggest we use the commanding officer, and bypass any extraneous jury rigged surgery.” Beeps Ed in response. “Good call, nice to know that at least one of us is on the ball.” I chuckled, to which Ed whistles in rapid succession. “Well Ed, we don’t have any scheduled maintenance tasks for ninety six hours, so let’s bag some food, and go-go juice, and have ourselves an adventure!” Looking back to the boundless void beyond the windows I guffaw wistfully while I clap my hands once, loudly.

PART THREE of The Company : Chronicles of Kelvin.

Movie Reviews: Godzilla® vs. Amazing Spider-Man® 2

So this weekend was a holiday here in Canada, it was the May 2-4 weekend, also known as Victoria Day for those of us who follow the royals.

I promise you that there is a review buried in here, but first off, I have something else to say, which has a lot to do with my reviews of the two films in general.

I think the main reason people get off on the wrong foot with movies these days, is that they fail to temper their expectations about what they are, or are not going to see in a 2 hour movie. I had the ability to sift through reams of reviews on both movies, and I had a reasonable idea of what I was and was not going to get to see or feel from either film. There are still people out there in the wider world who expect to see a panel to scene play by play from their favourite comic book or story. They are two totally different mediums and in most instances the same material doesn’t hold up when transplanted from one to the other.

We all have fan-boy/ fan-girl dreams of what we are going to see, but what us outsiders seem to fail to know, is that, these projects aren’t created by individuals with all of the creative control. You start throwing around $150 – $200 million dollars in production costs alone, not even mentioning the costs of advertising in print and television, and you are going to have to design by committee (which usually ends up meaning a diluted, chopped story, with shoe horned elements to sell merchandise and tie-ins/ cross overs etc etc…). These two movies were no exception. If you understand that going in, then you will thoroughly enjoy these films for what they are, fiction / sci-fi / fantasy movies that are big on spectacle and have little to no character arc. The characters (i.e.) villains in Spider-Man® are as cartoonish and 2 dimensional as you could expect. The only time you feel you’re watching actual fleshed out humans, are when Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are schmoozing on camera together (not a bad thing, basically the best parts of that particular movie, and very touching at that!).  The cgi is pretty good, some spots with Rhino looked rushed and less than stellar, but if it’s a set up for a Sinister Six® spin off, then perhaps they’ll upgrade the visuals for Paul Giamatti’s character then. He really was just a throw away character in the film, but in it’s defence it was a fun way to book end the action sequences of the film as a whole, and let’s you know Spider-Man® isn’t going anywhere, he’s right in the thick of battle, so expect more to come. Great!. If you are looking for a comic book feel, this movie has it, cheesy one liners, 2 dimensional bad guys, lots of great action, slow motion action sequences, tracking shots that take you straight through the heart of the action, web slinging and damsels in distress, funny costumes and a daily life that just seems to get in the way. Fun, all of that is fun. Not great, not earth shattering, just fun. Good clean PG-13 fun. No oscars will be awarded for the story or plot, but if you are going to see a Comic book film, other than say, Sandman® or something equally cerebral looking for Casablanca or something of that ilk, then you have a perverse sense of this pop cultures worth.

So to continue my wife and I ventured out to see Spider-Man® on Saturday evening, that was a lot of fun, because I had been able to do something, that other’s didn’t do. I managed my expectations. Expectations are what are standing between you really enjoying something for what it is, Vs. You hating something because it didn’t pan out like you had envisioned in your head. Shake off your expectations. Cast them aside! I say. Do yourself a favour, and don’t go sifting through every single trailer, every single on set snap shot, worry yourself over news about production. Take a hit then pass that bad boy onwards. All you are doing is building up the hype, and setting unrealistic expectations that in most cases, but not all, you’ll never be able to meet. Which leads to much ranting and raving and gnashing of teeth on-line.

However in the case of Spider-Man® I did feel a bit left out in the rain, because the plot points shown in the trailer are no where to be seen in the actual film, which is a textbook case of bait-n’ switch. I felt duped. Well, no not really. Like I mentioned before, I had read and watched several reviews which relate this point in better details than I have. But still, Peter & Harry’s relationship looked a bloody sight more interesting in the trailers, when you think there is a conspiracy going on behind the scenes.

On to Sunday evening we go, now it was time to take on Godzilla®. The large, city stomping, family killing, infrastructure busting behemoth from under the ocean. Next to the hulking monsters ruining city scapes and causing natural disasters along the way, this movie was far more touching and grounded than the 1998 version, which was odd to watch when I was 18, as it didn’t quite hit the mark. This new version has all the hallmarks of the original, building up suspense, unease, trauma, anger, capturing the effortless way in which nature makes us feel weak and ineffectual. Showing us just how uncontrollable the world really is, even when we strive to make every inch of our lives as managed as we are able. It just isn’t so. And the new Godzilla® shows us this in a way that was pleasing. Mind you, I could have done with Aaron Taylor-Johnson being a tad more emotive on screen, but you know what, his vanilla blandness actually makes it easier to transpose yourself into his position. If he had of shrieked and wailed the whole time, we’d have been put off by his hamming it up. He really is just a proxy by which we experience Godzilla®, and a softened generic avatar makes that easier to do. To all the haters who wished for 2 + hours of Godzilla® smash, that gets tedious and boring. I mean Pacific Rim did a good job of giving us nothing much other than battles, and it gets old very quickly. Case in point, how many ways can you lose a beast behind a building, or get punched through it before you get numb to the idea or the spectacle. Just look at Man of Steel, the last 30 minutes felt redundant and overly repetitive.

I’d give them both a solid B grade. Well worth the price of a 3D ticket.

Your thoughts, and or comments?

-M